Fuyohiko is late to the restaurant. DEAD ALREADY AW YEAH! Actually, someone says hes just outside and doesnt want to eat with the rest of us. Phooey game, dont get my hopes up.
Byakuya says hes throwing an all night party, and everyone needs to come. Looks like theyve all graduated to Hopes Peak University, where the only thing you dont want to kill is the life of the party.
Also, someone is totally dying at the party tonight, guaranteed.
Teruteru: I may be a pervert, but Im the kind of pervert everybody likes! No. That isnt a thing. There arent any perverts any one likes. No one has ever been like "yeah my uncle is a pervert but he only uses his perversion to gross out other, worse perverts." There isn't a Dexter version of masturbating in a theater.
They decide to clean up the abandoned mansion to have their party. Ive seen like a hundred horror movies that start this way. Oh man, cant believe your parents let us use their mansion for the weekend. It will be AWESOME Gary oh jeez why are the walls bleeding?
Fake protagonist wins the drawing to clean it up. Jeez, is there any drawing this guy doesnt win?
Huh. I cant talk to fake protagonist or little Mafioso during freetime. Fake protagonist is cleaning...BUT MAYBE LITTLE MAFIOSO IS DEAD YEE HAW
Akanes side story stuff is weird as hell. Like every free time segment is basically about how she was molested or abused as a child. The game seems to be winking at me like hawt, right? and I have to keep avoiding eye contact and hoping itll go away. No, a step father forcing his daughter to serve him food without panties is not hot, stop talking to me you damn creep.
PARTY TIME. Im getting weird vibes from fake protagonist. Hes all like yeah I was in here by myself all day cleaning mm hmm and little mafia dude is still missing. Something aint right here, I tells ya.
Byakuya is all handsy at the door. If hes checking for weapons, hes going to need two tickets to the gun show. BLIGOW.
Hiyoko: That creep Byakuya rubbed his ham-hands all over me and called it a body check! Hiyoko is pretty awesome outside of that whole lunatic thing.
Everyone shows up at the party but tiny Mafioso is still missing. Damn, that dude is 100% dead.
Byakuya loses his mind and eats all the ka-bobs because the skewers are sharp. Yeah, sure, thats why you devoured them instead of tossing them in a different room, you damn ka-bob hog.
We now have to go to the kitchen to make sure there is nothing else dangerous in there. Byakuya dies of a heart attack before we leave, guaranteed.
Hajime and Byakuya inform us one iron skewer is missing. HMM I WONDER WHERE IT COULD BE. Byakuya might've just eaten it by accident while he was tackling those sweet ka-bobs
Byakuya says someone needs to guard the dangerous weapon case and Peko goes off by herself. Oh what the hell? I thought this whole party was to keep everyone in one room together you dummies (also, if little Mafioso winds up dead, keep note future Suprak that Peko here kept insisting she saw him alive).
Byakuya has a second mystery case which he refuses to let any one touch and may or may not smell like partially rotted corpse.
And now Chiaki wanders off by herself! WHAT IS GOING ON YOU FOOLS STOP THIS
The party is a total disaster even before we find any bodies. Nekomaru wont stop yelling about how he has to poop, weird hamster man loses an earing, and Akane and Byakuya yell at each other over food. This is not the sexy party I was promised.
There is a total blackout and Im afraid when the lights come back on Nekomaru will have pooped on the carpet somewhere. And there will probably be a body, too.
Oh wait, nevermind. Mikan just fell in a way that exposed herself entirely for the second time. This time her skirt is around her waist and her vajayjay is covered by some lobster dish. If she ever sneezes, there is 100% chance all of her buttons will just pop off.
Also I WAS PLAYING THIS ON A PLANE AND HAD TO STOP SO I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY DANGANRONPA
Hiyoko: Yaaay an erotic pose! Thats obviously a fanservice moment! Seriously commenting on dumb things doesnt make them not dumb.
Oh look like three people are missing. Byakuya, Peko, tiny baby cakes Mafioso, not a single one of them seem to be anywhere near the building. We looks around for a while, and girl Monokuma and Chiaki assure us no one left the building. That only leaves the bathroom, but Im not going in there ever because Nekomaru is about to destroy the toilet.
BYAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYA NOOOOOOOOO NOT LIKE THIS NOT LIKE THIS
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Moops? "I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."