Now we flash back to the long long ago of 2016. Back when Obama was still president and I could go outside to see friends. Hey wait is this the ultimate despair Junko was trying to unleash?
2016 Suprak FLASHBACK Thoughts
Why is fake protagonist so quick to go oh jeez were going to have to kill each other? Why the hell is that a jump you make, fake protagonist?
Oh hey that surveillance camera is just there for our safety ignore it! says fake protagonist. Im on to you, I respond, in a voice barely above a whisper. I know what youare. He acts like he cant hear me through the game, but I totally know he can.
Why is he so calm? maybe hes just a chill guy. OR MAYBE HES THE MASTERMIND YOU FOOL
Fake Protagonist apparently has a name. Nagito. Oh and hes the Ultimate Lucky Student Jeez one character in and were already recycling from last game.
Lucky students always seem to be getting kidnapped in this universe. The true lucky student were the ones that lost the lottery and didn't get kidnapped by various stuffed animals.
Oh so the school doesnt understand the power of the lucky students and picks a new one through a lottery every year. Smartest school in the entire universe, and no one there can explain how the damn lottery works? Jeez guys this is weird we make a contest that one student wins every year andone studentwins. WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!?!?!
Cool so Hajime doesnt remember his special talent. Maybe his talent is stealing Kyokos bit. ULTIMATE KYOKO IMPERSONATOR right here guys.
Yeah ebooks are back too! Apparently this time around I need to get Hope Fragments by going around and making friendship bracelets with everyone. No murders or anything like that how dull.
Weeee I finally get access to the report card. Hajime apparently likes Kusamochi and hates Sakuramochi. I have no idea what the hell that means, but Ill avoid Sakuramochi at all costs. Nagito likes pretty things and hates loud places. I think he might be a cat.
The dj vu hurts so bad guys. Now Nagito admits to creeping on everyone on the interwebs, but couldnt find anything about me. Literally Makoto and Kyoko last game. ULTIMATE LAZY CHARACTER SWAP
There is a huge statue that looks like it is a rejected Ed Hardy t-shirt design. A dude with an eagle on his back is riding a horse while a tiger and snake fight. I feel like this is going to be important at some point. Or the artist for this game was a ten year old boy and just thought that, like, it looked totally cool, man.
Now I meet the guy who ate Byakuya. So far I have fake Makoto, fake Kyoko, and deep fried Byakuya. Tons of originality in character design here, guys.
Seriously though why the hell is Byakuya playing dumb about having done this before? It makes no sense. My current theory is this is just a fat suit a smaller dude is hiding in.
Usami turns a chicken into a cow. Because magic.
Hajime is weirdly caught up on the fact that a rabbit owns a ranch. New theory: he is one of those damn Trix rabbit kids that is bigoted towards rabbits.
Meet a couple more people. Hiyoko is the ultimate traditional dancer and Akane is the ultimate telling her mom that shes a traditional dancer. Hiyoko is also likea mini-psychopath. She likes squishing ants because their bellies make a fun noise, whatever that means. She also gets a face like the girl from the ring when she says that. Guaranteed murderer right here. Akane is the ultimate gymnast. Yeah right. If she was cast in the Olympics porno parody as the gymnast the casting director would get fired. I think shes supposed to be this games version of Hina, in which case take her back I dont want her.
This hotel area is pretty damn posh. Fake protagonist is way too calm and creeps real protagonist out (good.gooooooood) so I walk around and talk to more people. Baby business executive is every bit as terrible as his artwork suggests and hes all like wah wah Johnson get this page colored in by five or youre fired! at me. Chill, bro.
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Moops? "I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."