LogFAQs > #946480931

BRAVE NEW WORLD
January 2022
39 in attendance

The ever professional Starter is in the ring, appearing to be on hype duty tonight. It's another new year for TCW, and every title is on the line! Everybody's ready to rumble, so....before she can get further, she is interrupted by that obnoxious hack of a poet, Ogden Bunthorne! It is absolutely appalling that he was not given a match tonight, but never fear, he will graciously supply his adoring fans with a masterpiece of poesy instead. He gets a couple of lines into his latest work, but before we find out what he rhymed with "Phoenix," he is in turn interrupted by the music for the opening contest. (23)

"The Genius" Chris Bishop is in action against the diminuitive Koala Mask. Intergender wrestling is not new in TCW, but like many before him, Bishop is underestimating the small, masked woman. Like many opponents before Bishop, Koala quickly knocks the smile off his face. Bishop is a bit off his guard, since he's used to being the small and fast one in most of his matches, but Koala is able to execute her usual backyard-level lucha gameplan. Big rana gets 2.9 on Bishop, and Koala objects to the pace of referee Double S's counting. A rookie mistake, and Bishop makes her pay with a giant suplex! Bishop gets the win, acting all smug like he was in control the whole time. (20)

50's style vocalizations herald the arrival of everybody's favorite recurring skit....Rolly Gets Over Time! Rolly McRollerson makes his way to the ring, but isn't in cosplay tonight. He tells us about this weird dream he had where reality just kept changing. Something about heart attacks, and the number 1006, and experiencing the same five years over and over. Nobody really gets it but they just assume the joke is over their heads. (26)

TCW Midwest Champion Thunder Prince comes out to issue an open challenge for his title! We get a minute or two to admire the champ's golden locks before the call is answered....by his frequent rival, Dragon Rosado! The young Puerto Rican stalks his way to the ring, and wastes no time waiting for an opening bell. (16) These two are the youngest on the TCW roster, and considered to have lots of upside. Thunder Prince brings some martial arts background, Dragon Rosado is a promising brawler, and both are charismatic beyond their years. This is not one of their better outings, though. (or maybe I just didn't stat them nicely enough) Thunder Prince's flashier style wins the day this time around. (9)

Two new guys are backstage, and they're real dang big! They identify themselves as Root of Darkness and Tarrasque, and they clearly looked to the Road Warriors for guidance on their gimmicks. They're going to compete to see who can cause the most destruction the fastest! (30)

In another TCW staple, Simply Amazing will be defending the tag straps against the 1-2-3 Mafia. Both teams have been around since TCW's inception, and both have spent most of that time towards the top of the division. Simply Amazing have shown a bit of friction lately, as Hotshot KW gets a little too showboaty for New Wave's tastes, but the fun loving faces haven't let that stop their latest title run yet. 1-2-3 Mafia consists of the veteran Tony Scarpone, and The Big Stud, a bulky collegiate wrestler. As always, they are accompanied to the ring by the loudmouthed D-Cal. It's a pretty straightforward match. Hotshot gets a little too heated yelling at D-Cal at ringside....and Scarpone low blows him from behind! Unfortunately, the ref actually turned around at the right time, and caught it, so that's a DQ! (18)

Team Impact are shown backstage watching, on a weird angle to the screen of course. MC Capoeira is, like, real tired of those cheatin' mafia guys gettin' all the shots, man. The Duke of Berkmanshire agrees with his friend- cheaters are said never to prosper, but these ruffians have been rewarded far too often! Team Impact should see to it that these goons are disciplined. (9)

TCW's founder and Cruiserweight Champ, Tombolo, is in action next. It still feels weird to cheer that guy after how long he's spent abusing his power and terrorizing his employees, but somebody has to put a stop to Neon Genesis, and he's almost the only one left who's willing to try. Speaking of Neon Genesis, his challenger is of course Takao, the maniacal high flyer of the Axis of Awesome. Takao might have the edge in speed, power, grit, and experience, but Tombolo has FIGHTING SPIRIT. Unfortunately for him, Takao also has his partner at ringside, the big man Buzz Stryker. Ref bump, Stryker lays Tombolo out with the belt, and that's that, new champ! (21)

Neon Genesis have once again come out on top, as a frustrated and belt-less Tombolo is left laying in the ring. Can anybody stop these guys, or are they going to be successful in destroying TCW? Krampus' music hits as the heels celebrate! The strange and wiry man speeds down the ramp as Takao and Stryker brace for a fight. Krampus circles around them to Tombolo...so he can laugh in Tombolo's face, mocking some of the bumps he took. Super. (24)

Neon Genesis isn't done for the night, though, as their leader, the treacherous Danny Nathans, is up against perennial fave Jay West. West hasn't really been the top guy for a while, but he was one of the first champions in TCW, and his spot monkey style can pop the crowd fairly reliably. Nathans is, like him, an actual wrestler who was wrestling before this silly backyard fed started, and has torn through TCW since aligning himself with the Axis of Awesome. West pulls out all the stops, but it's not quite enough to stop Nathans tonight. (20)

World Title time! Ever since turning heel, the slightly very unhinged Mr. Boombastic has enjoyed a lengthy run with the belt, but tonight The Texan gets a shot at winning it back. Nobody's expecting a pretty fight from these two brawlers, and indeed they do not receive one. It might not be a hardcore match, but Reverend Moondog gives them a bit of leeway as they brawl around the arena floor. It comes down to conditioning, as the veteran Boombastic is able to weather one more wild bump than his challenger and come out on top this time. (20)

Overall: 22 SUCCESS

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