Randy starts a Tegridy Farms weed special to make extra money for his marijuana business. But after watching a news report, he freaks out cuz he remembers that him and Mickey Mouse had sex with a bat and a pangolin in China, and Randy got sick afterwards, thinking it was just the flu, but he unknowingly started the COVID pandemic. He starts to feel really bad as he wanders the streets and sees people dying and stores closing, and begins to question if the pandemic special was a good idea.
Cartman is enjoying school at home, until the district announces kids are gonna start going back to in-person learning. However, they don't have enough teachers anymore, so the police department (who lost all their funding) are hired as teachers. Cartman gets into a fight with Kyle on the first day of school, and the cop-teachers start shooting at everyone, and manage to shoot Token.
The police don't want anyone to know they shot a kid, so they make a giant coverup where they tell everyone that one of the students had to go to the hospital "due to coronavirus", and tricks the school into forcing all the children being forced to quarantine at the school for 14 days.
Randy sees another news report saying they found the pangolin that originally caught COVID, and are close to discovering a vaccine from it. They point out it has some other species DNA in it, and think that's the key to making a cure. Randy hears this and realizes if they do that, they'll find his sperm in the pangolin, and know he caused everything, so he kidnaps the pangolin. Randy then figures if his DNA is the key to a vaccine, he can put his sperm into his weed and sell it to people. He tries it out on Jimbo, who's dying of COVID, and it works at first. But after he starts this on a widescale level, it turns out that it caused a new COVID strain that makes people grow moustaches like Randy.
The kids eventually break out of school, which throws everyone into chaos, because they think the kids are all sick. Everybody riots, and so the police convince the mayor to give them their funding back, which leads to the cops driving tanks and military vessels into the streets, where they just kill people on the spot for being outside.
Randy gets so guilty that he decides to give the pangolin back to scientists so they can make a vaccine. At the last second, Cartman grabs it, and is going to kill it, but then Stan makes a poignant speech about how he misses normal life, and how if they can have the vaccine, everything can go back to normal. Cartman actually has a moment of humility, and gives the pangolin back to the scientist.
The scientist declares that they can now come up with a vaccine and everyone can work together to make things right again, but then Donald Trump-Garrison shows up and uses a flamethrower to kill the scientist and the pangolin. (Earlier in the episode, Trump-Garrison tells Stan that he isn't gonna do anything to help the pandemic, because it's killing a lot of Mexican people.)
Tegridy farms gets set on fire, and Randy has to close the farm for good, before he gets ready to tell Sharon the truth about how he started the pandemic. But as he's about to, he notices she has a mustache, meaning she has the new strain of COVID you get from Randy's sperm-weed. He asks if she's been smoking any, and she says "No, you know I dont smoke marijuana." Randy knows she's lying, gets annoyed, and says "Know what, I think I'll do a few more specials after all." before leaving.
Overall, honest to God, that was the most I've laughed at South Park in like 5 years. I wish they'd take their time and put effort into episodes like this more often.