It's a byproduct of today's culture. Women have more options than ever before, with less consequences than ever before. Tinder gives them instant access and attention from an overwhelming amount of men, contraception removes a considerable amount of risk and the sexual freedom of our culture removes the social inhibitions (fear of being ostracized or slut shamed). These are what allow women to pick, choose, experiment, and refuse. The bolded is the important part as it conflicts with the necessity to commit.
What ends up happening is that women, who have their pick of the litter, are going to go for the cream of the crop. Who wouldn't in their position? This directs attention to the top percentage of men, leaving the rest of the pool fighting for a much smaller pool of what's left. You're guaranteed to see a pool of men who are going to come out empty handed. Not feeling progress, not feeling loved, not feeling valued, is going to have a big a effect on an ego. As we have outlets for people to vent on for everyone to see, communities form and boom, the "birth" of the incel movement.
Mind you, this cultural dynamic is also dangerous for women too. While there are men who are straight up left behind, there are women who get overzealous with their options and never commit to a guy or never settle. Years will pass and their competition will get tougher and tougher as they're getting older and younger gals enter the market as direct competitors. So we're seeing an influx of single ladies in their late 30's far more than previous generations.
So to say it's a choice, I somewhat disagree. While we have the power to change outcome of our lives, it's important to acknowledge the dynamics of this world have changed considerably. It's like buying a house and gaining notable wealth. It's can be done before you hit 30 as there are opportunities all over, but it's still far, far, far more difficult for the average lad to accomplish compared to decades back.
is every human owed love and affection? No. Incel is a byproduct of the special snowflake mentality