LogFAQs > #939303300

i land in not-hawaii and proceed to check: 18 treasures.
gotcha. i already see a red door so i know i ain't getting everything so i'll just do a quick loop while talking to NPCs. as i go around, breaking pots, finding a treasure chest under a bridge, doing my inn run to find... 400 gold? wow, we're going a step up from clothing now aren't we? the shops, unsurprisingly, sell stuff worse than what i'm wearing considering i'm basically geared up for 2-3 towns from now. also the weapon shop really confuses me because somehow the weapon she's selling has its recipe in a treasure chest right behind her. ...kind of feel bad for this girl but seriously, ya couldn't have left that in a better spot?

the NPCs are talking about a Tentacular, which i assume is the thing obviously evil second in command had. they also aren't at all bothered by the fact that i'm looking for a guy so uh... okay. there's also talk of a lady shooting cannons in the morning, i like her. good character trait there. the layout of the place makes me think one part will eventually be locked off because there's gates in a couple key spots, so uh... alright. as i reach the church, cutscene hits of a tale of a man who was an awesome fisherman, then almost died, met a mermaid, and was told she'd give him his life for his soul. he eventually got back, said no way to village girl, and so the elder burned his ship and laughed at his misery.

so mermaids are sirens in the myth, got it. they have teeth as big as their face or something is what one kid later says. wonder if that's gonna be an enemy when i hit the underwater level? an evil mermaid type.

the lady who told the story then tells me that Kai must be her kid and he's off to go fight the Tentacular. everyone considers him a weirdo so i mean i guess it makes sense. fortunately not everyone is against mermaids, or at least one kid isn't... he asks what would a human/mermaid baby. somebody's interested over here and i hope for the sake of his future, we're adopting the George Katamari/Monster Musume idea of mermaids where the fishy part is a little lower than some interpretations.

lemme guess, the guy in the myth was named Kai and the son is named after him? well whatever. as i wander i also find the cannon lady and am disappointed to see it's a grandma. fortunately she gives me a cannon for my worries as long as i promise to bring it back, yeah sure, this shit's mine and we both know it. free cannon, whooo. i also find another Tick Tock, i'm probably gonna head over after i'm done with this part of the story so i can do 2 of 'em.

and so i go back to the ship. a lot less exploring than some other towns thankfully, with me down to 8 treasures left. i get in the water, check the map, see that it's to the boats i saw along the way that were rushing me, and head to them.

dammit Sylv.
there's a bunch of men clearly overboard, clearly in the sea after losing a fight, and you're over here trying to figuratively pick them up? they're all warning him of something, it's "above you," and there's a flying boat that comes crashing down with a squid apparently attached. fortunately i've got a cannon and a ball smacks it in the face. ...wouldn't it have made more sense to hit it up the nose? or the eye? i mean it's THIS close, how do you hit the forehead or something? he discusses eating it, i'm inclined to agree, and the fight begins.

and the fight ends. that uh, wasn't hard. also Jade's skill of hitting aerial enemies really needs a better description because that shit hits hard on anything slightly in the air but not on grounded birds. just saying. either way, fight ends, monster disappears so we can't eat it, and they're off to throw us a party.

...even the nun is drunk?
well, Kai apparently hates parties.
young Bayonetta decides to come with me and then we're met with a loli catgirl who isn't allowed to party because she's a loli and is mad at it again. honestly you're complaining now but in 20 years when Serena's old you're gonna look at her and laugh as she looks for a way to do the same shit again. that demon had a pot of eternal youth, figure out that shit and your grandkids will be set for life. anyway NPC tells me he's fixing his boat so alright. as i wander i see a line with Serena and crack up. she's got a line of dudes.

"Serena's so kind and gentle. Why can't my wife be more like her?"

goddamn.
and as i continue i run into his wife talking shit about him. perfect couple, 10/10.

we meet Kai.
he tells us it's his grandpa.
his mom made the myth.
Veronica insists that he go keep his promise without realizing anything. you're the smart one aren't you? how do you not realize the story is legit? and then he tells them and her and Jade are shocked.

so story continues, Kai was in exile, the village girl banged another dude, had a kid, another storm hit and she lost her husband. then she went missing along with the kid. so they assumed Kai somehow did it through a magic revenge plot with mermaids and they found Kai with a dripping wet baby.

Veronica says she's a half mermaid and he's a quarter, neo Kai gets mad, emoting as much anger as he can which is to say, not at all, and he tells us in his hard midwestern accent to meet him.

i mean i'm glad this is running to my basic initial idea before i explored halfway around the world and found a random ass fisherman on an island. i also have no idea where Rab is in all this but i'm off to the church. ...oh. he's in the church with the grandma. makes sense. we go out the back, which is apparently a graveyard of sorts, and i break a pot. one more treasures down! mutliple graves, a hut, is this where the guy was exiled to? that ain't very far.

also this guy's cold as fuck.
"TELL HER HE'S DEAD." uh... thanks.
there also happens to be a treasure chest with a mini medal outside this hut. since nobody ever comes here, has this thing been around since like... 50 years? Jade calls this place lonely but i don't see how. dude's got a beachfront, pretty awesome. also lmao at the villagers for this.

"we're gonna exile you! now go make a cabin near the beach. FUCK YOU!"
"uh... so you're putting me nearer to the water?"
"I SAID FUCK YOU"

they ain't bringing their smart ones, folks.
how the fuck did the nun sober up and get over here so fast. this bitch was wasted, now she's perfectly fine? damn girl. i don't see the line for Serena so i assume that's it for this village as i head to the boat.


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"Maybe it's a tentacle, molesting the planet itself. - Aschen Brodel.