LogFAQs > #936860567

...this is a huge fucking map.
as i explore it becomes really clear i can't get all the chests - i even look down at one from a higher point and have no clear way of getting it right now. oh well. we move along, move along, treasure chests get, sparkly things get, finally after a good half hour of exploration i think i've gotten everything i can, including a new rod for the Veronica before i go to the place i need to be and a Pastword. cutscene.

Sylvando sure knows a lot about my past. a princess who was just visiting? hmm. fishy. him being royalty would make sense considering his skills and finances. i also beat the crap out of a couple dragons, successfully steal once, and am on my merry way, listening to a Slime's advice to go down a well. you'd have thought there's a lot of treasure but nope. out tunnel, see old man, cutscene. talk. he knows who i am, obvious already. follow, alright.

he brings us to a grave and talks about how he was an old man who was retired. ...grandpa? making it sound like he was high up, knows me from this place, there can't be a whole lot of people wh-- yep. so we've got ourselves a fighting grandfather, niiice. now Jade... would be the princess of another kingdom visiting for a day, perhaps? i mean this IS Japan, it's entirely possible we're going with "she's your cousin, laddie!" but i'm going with other princess for now. he wants us to go help him send the souls off, sure thing, and i'm sure my hand will act up then too. so first... explore!

nearby there's a place to go underneath and i find a recipe book. game tells me to go follow Rab so i guess i can't go too far. and finally, there's a breakable pot nearby. i'm just a little curious how and why he left a treasure chest with recipes nearby or why he decided to throw a Devil's Tail inside of a pot inside of a ruined city but i mean... plot, i guess? he's senile? well, as he climbs up i decide imma make this old man teleport by running ahead.

2 treasures in this area, by the way.
"Princess."
and there we go.
alright Sylv, are you her brother? cousin? just know her from somewhere else?

cutscene continues and... that is a lot of butterflies. a LOT of butterflies.
goddamn, this old guy's good. the voice acting on him is superb. he says he needs a moment, alright. each NPC one by one available to talk to me, i assume until i get to Jade. who... honestly, if i had to describe her it would be "young Bayonetta."

alright, so young Bayo, now confirmed for the princess, wants to go on a walk with me. my mom was the closest thing she had to a mom, she was happy to have a 'baby brother' uh... yeah, this is pretty Japan there. are we sure that we aren't cousins?

and all of a sudden, soldiers! not really surprising considering there shouldn't be anybody else who can make a billion butterflies fly towards a tree. we run, cutscene, somehow the rest of the party got away just fine, that's nice. we run more, cutscene, Hendrick on a horse blocks my path. 10 or so soldiers vs Jadeonetta, not worried, meanwhile i'm swinging a big ass sword at Hendrick as he mocks me. Jade then strikes a pose and goes all "HENDRICK DON'T YOU DARE" and he gets a flashback.

okay yeah, he's the good knight.
we've been told that monsters destroyed the village, Jasper already established he can summon monsters, that's clear. Hendrick meanwhile seems loyal to Jade. also i'm on a cliff. i'm gonna fall aren't i?

and the rock starts moving because why not. i started this game falling off a cliff, might as well keep doing that. Jade meanwhile jumps in after me and he yells "PRINCEEEESS" and i'm now wondering how smart of an idea it was to call yourselves by your real names. like, eventually you know you're gonna run into royalty too, right? you call yourself Jade, grandpa calls himself Rab, surely using your real names will get you in trouble? i mean one NPC said he knew those names but didn't know from where, you mean to tell me you've somehow gotten away with using your real names for 15 fucking years and NOBODY has given you guys any shit? nobody? she couldn't at least be Emerald or Ivory or something else? he couldn't pick Rob or Bob or Ranc? seriously people, how are any of you alive?

anyway, i wake up in a cabin.
i go to the door, she's there with firewood and sneezes adorably.
yeah, this is the waifu. that sneeze sealed the deal.

her dad is King Geros, got it. and somehow... the story goes i destroyed my kingdom?
...how the fuck am i, a baby, supposed to be able to kill an ENTIRE FUCKING KINGDOM overnight and not one person is batting an eye to this idea?

also, i'm an adult now, kind of. in lore i am, anyway.
how is it that in my entire time growing up, literally no plague of destruction occurred? where's the mass graves and extinction events? ...did they have to manufacturer them and blame me for it all? or is this game going to just assume i somehow did absolutely nothing, no burning down of kingdoms, and somehow... nothing? like if i could singlehandedly do that as a baby, how did i get arrested so easily? you guys were gonna kill me at the start and somehow NOBODY was gonna think twice about this?

is everyone in this world really, really stupid?
i go around the cabin and find a chest with a mini medal. i run along, get to a bridge, and there's Hendrick on his horse. Jade... then pulls off a Bayonetta impression once more and is fighting a guy in full armor riding an armored horse who she herself admit can kill us without a problem. she's gonna do this... with no weapons.

yeah i'm not sure how much harder this game can convince you to fall in love with this girl right now. like c'mon, just how perfect are you trying to make this girl? what's her flaw here? ya made her stacked, good design, gorgeous, high combat ability, would literally jump off a cliff for you, sits by a fireplace with you telling stories, and is literally fighting an armored man on an armored horse. obviously, she loses the fight. Hendrick is also dumber than everyone else i've ever met in this game.

"Princess you're alive!"
"Ya."
"Now get away from him, he's THE DARKSPAWN!"
"Uhh I'm alive. The story goes he killed everyone. But I'm alive."
"Correct."
"With him."
"It appears so."
"Meaning he didn't do it."
"DARKSPAWN!"
"I'm literally fighting you and telling you to let us go."
"DARKSPAWN!"
"I'm alive when I should be dead, am telling you the opposite of my dad's orders, and telling you that i'm with the guy who, according to dad, somehow killed me when he was something like 2 days old, forcing me to live in