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TopicMy dad is on a hit streak on Facebook right now.
Giblet_Enjoyer
01/14/20 2:59:46 AM
#20:


Ic3Bullet posted...
It's sad. I've always distanced myself from him, even when I was a kid, before I knew what political leanings were and LONG before the massive polarization we have today.

I blamed myself for our estranged relationship until less than a year ago (I'm 30 now). I listened to him tell me "It's those video games," the whole time I was growing up as for the reason I didn't communicate with him. It recently hit me why I never have a desire to talk to him, though.

Everywhere I go, the majority of the people I meet think I'm brilliant. Teachers, co-workers, friends, strangers I've had passing conversations with. A lot of people seem to look highly on me. My dad, however, always was and still is condescending every time I go visit. Any smart thing I say gives him a good chuckle like it's the dumbest thing he's ever heard. He's cynical towards me -- like if I were to tell him about a pain in the ass customer I had to deal with, he starts asking pointed questions, implying he thinks I'm the one to blame for the negative interaction I had. He would always try to control my mom and me with his anger. Any time the smallest thing didn't go his way, he would throw a tantrum ALL DAY and snap at everything you said to him. Therefore, the main objective every day was not to make dad mad. I didn't realize how he was using this behavior to control us until I moved out. I don't think he himself realizes he uses his anger to control people; he probably just thinks whenever he gets mad, he is in the right and the other person is in the wrong.

So yes, he was right. I WAS addicted to video games, and they were always more important to me than family, and still are. I always thought that was my fault. I realized just recently though, that video games were an escape from my dad's toxic behavior. I would usually stop playing them when he left to go to work, and do something else.

So basically, he has already been disowned for as long as I can remember.
Good for you for realizing all that, at least. It's not easy cutting a POS out of your life when they're your parent. If I were you I'd just purposely annoy him with liberal smugness/snark/etc. whenever you have to see him, I mean if he's so intent on resenting you then you might as well have fun with it. Just an idea, lol

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He which make friends with scorpion, soon come to find out what a scorpion does - they bite people with its tail --ancient Chinese proverb
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