LogFAQs > #925182114

I once left a party. On a scale of being 1 to 10, 1 being over the limit and 10 being too loaded to give a fuck, I was a 14. It's fucking slippery (winter in canada, snow banks) and I locked my tires like an amateur, going around a corner when I see a group of 3 or 4 nuns on the sidrwalk. I hit 2 of them. One flew over the hood, cracked my windshield and rolled off the passenger side. I couldn't see the 2nd one and thought I pinned her under the car. I toss my driving beer as far as I could. Fuck...forgot to open the window. It bounced back and drenched me. Anybody coming within 2 feet will smell it. Best way to hide the smell of beer? Cigarettes! So I light one. Oh shit, the fucking dead nuns! I get out of my car, slip on the ice and fall on my face, busting my lip and bleeding like a tsunami. I look under the front of the car and I see 2 feet and black and white clothing. No movement or sound. She was dead... I killed a fucking nun. A servant to the lord, a care giver to the less fortunate. I was going to jail. For a long long time. I got back in my car, put on a Black Sabbath cassette and lit another smoke before going to jail. I hadn't even checked on the other nuns. I was too busy crying and feeling sorry for myself. Whoa is fucking me. I sat and waited for the cops. There's a knock on my window. I throw up on the steering wheel but don't look at them. Shoot me please. Another knock. 'Yo SMW2, what the fuck?" It was Cousin Tim! Good friend of mine, but I call him Cousin Tim because I'm certain he's somebody's cousin, just not mine. I open the window and tell him to leave me alone and go check on the nuns I killed? "Dafuq did you just say? Those aren't nuns you idiot. That was my mother's 2 penguins from her christmas lawn decorations you just drove across my lawn and stopped ..." "Uhh..I didn't run over 2 nuns and kill them?" "No... You took out two 3 foot plastc penguins and a reindeer." So we chugged a beer and moved my car back into his driveway. Good times.
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Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island - Undisputed King of Mario games.