LogFAQs > #924557763

Hannyabal posted...

At that point Ill actually make a judgement of whether I want to message them or not. Im not really interested in having the same oh where do you work? Whered you go to school, etc conversation a million times, so i try and pick out something about them that I actually am interested in learning more about. at this point, that conversation should feel natural and you should just bail if it doesnt

This is clearly the part that is draining. Specifically, coming up with a line of conversation that I think would be interesting, and continually putting energy into it.

The main flaw is that when you try to have a convo with an interesting girl on an app, you're just a slice of her attention. Whether it's 2, 5, or 100 people, you have to be way louder and extroverted to make up for the lack of direct connection. In person, I have no problem making small talk with an interesting girl. Talking about what school we went to, jobs, or even the color of the floor tiles or whatever. It's not an interview (or an online product comparison to use my analogy) so I don't really care what we talk about. I just want that back and forth reverberation of energy that signifies the "spark" or "click" of romance. This is absolutely impossible on an app, by design.

Yes you need some extroversion at a bar, but you just need to spend a tiny bit to know if the other person is going to reciprocate and amplify the energy, otherwise you move on. On the app, you need to beat 100 other people's energy before even getting a chance to see what the other person is about. Hyper extroverts naturally clean up in that environment.
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_foolmo_
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