LogFAQs > #923901818

Let's be serious people. There are only 2 legitimate choices. That is why this poll only has 2 options. Normally, I have 9 or 10 options in polls, or sometimes 4 or 5. But here, it is clear and evident that the greatest American hero of our times is either Donald Trump or Mitch McConnell.

But for the valiant heroics of these two great patriots, we would now be living in a socialist, corporatist, dystopia with an all powerful government bureaucracy owned by multinational corporations hell-bent on forcing everyone to serve the religion of liberalism. The minimum wage would be raised to a high enough level that 80% of the country would lose their jobs and would have to wait in line for days to receive food stamps in exchange for their contractual agreement to vote for Democrats on pain of losing their food ration forever. The schools would teach the religion of evolution as scientific fact and our children would have to confess their faith in evolution on pain of failure in school, which would give them a one-way ticket to the bread lines.

But for President Trump and Senator McConnell, the Democrats would have packed the Supreme Court with their political appointees who would have taken away our inalienable and ancient right to choose our representatives by voting in first past the post elections. They would even have disbanded the fount of our democracy, the great Electoral College, the defender of virtue and source of freedom. They would have shut down Fox News and censored the Daily Mail, and forced everyone to watch CNN or MSNBC for the ostensible purpose of fostering civic virtue, but for the real purpose of destroying it.

Our Republican heroes are all that stand between this country and its becoming a totalitarian, socialist, theocratic, atheist, wasteland owned by super rich offshore corporations.
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September 1, 2003; November 4, 2007; September 2, 2013
Congratulations to DP Oblivion in the Guru Contest!