LogFAQs > #923519105

"You guys are missing the bigger picture here, fellas! This ship hasn't had a captain in years and it's still sailing," you shake Ted.
Tim looks at his feet for a moment before asking, "Do we want to fuck with that though?"
You shrug. "I don't know..."
Gary pushes his tongue into his bottom lip and shapes his hands into fists. "Hector died for this gang. And he didn't even know who he was fighting for."
"Maybe he was fighting for all of us," you pat his shoulder. "And maybe we fight for him."
"Every gun deal, every drug shipment, and every working girl has a cut being sent upstairs," Smilin' Gary seethes. "Who has been going to all these years?"
"Whoever's sitting in the chair at the time," you respond. "But before you make any rash decisions, all of you need to ask yourself one thing. Did you get into gang life to fight for Penelope, Abe, or Flynn? Or would you have found your way into this life anyways?"
"What got you into gang life?" Tim asks you.
You close your eyes as a smile drifts across your face. "The first gang I ever worked for had a really innovative payroll software. I'd never seen anything like it."
"I baet 'twas a sight teh see, lad."
"Okay, you gotta stop with the British accent, Ted. It's truly horrendous to listen to," you scold him.
"But it's my na-"
"Where are you from?" you demand.
"Oh, it's just a wee village on the isle of-" Ted starts.
"Where are you from really?" you cut him off.
"I'm... I'm from Boise," he replies with no accent.
"Good, talk like you're from Boise," you plead. "Just because your nickname is British Ted, that doesn't mean you have to be British."
Gay Tim drops the bag he was packaging and rapidly taps his foot on the floor. "What?!"
"...Yeah I mean... have you honestly ever seen Smilin' Gary smile?" you ask Gay Tim.
"No no no, but I've... I've done so much," Tim whimpers. "To so many dudes. I'm not even gay!"
"Well yeah, no shit," you say matter of factly. "Nobody who's actually gay behaves the way you do. You behave like a straight guy pretending to be gay."
"While actually performing all the sex acts though," Smilin' Gary smirks, for maybe the first time in his life.
"This... can't be. It's been four years," Gay Tim slumps down in the chair behind him.
"Well who gave you that nickname?" you wonder aloud.
"It was... It was Horny Roger," he replies as he finally puts all the pieces together in his head. Tim puts his face in his hands. "Oh my God... I had a girlfriend before all this."

You hear a yell from across the warehouse and see Goblin Jon trapped under a pallet of heroin. "Help!"
You can't help but admire that whoever nicknamed this fucking idiot got it right on the money. You run over with Barnswallow Bill, Notorious Greg, and Fastball Jeff to lift the pallet off of Goblin Jon.
"What the hell were you thinking?" you berate him.
"Well I thought if Meth Carlton could do it, maybe I could too," Goblin Jon replies as he nurses his injured legs.
You rub your temples in frustration. "Meth Carlton is on his super drugs and you shit blood this morning. Use the forklift! Where is Meth Carlton anyways?"
"He finished moving his pallets already, so now he's outside digging a hole," Horny Roger explains.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.