LogFAQs > #923519085

B) Todd is a murderer, but his idea was solid. Offer positive reinforcement for safety compliance.
C) Try to figure out who the hell is giving orders here.

You take a deep breath. "You know what, Brent? It's your lucky day, Todd is in his office right now."
"Todd..." you see the wheels churning behind Brent's eyes. "Todd who? Todd Floris?"
You stare at Brent dumbfounded. "Wha-? Yes! Of course Todd Floris! Who the fuck else-... Nevermind. I have shit to do," you grumble as you push your way past the likely new gang leader.
"Todd Floris... is he a distant cousin or something?" Brent mumbles as he boards the elevator.

You can't believe this is how upper management operates. There's no communication between them and the general staff, which makes your job basically impossible. You make your way back into the warehouse where your eyes fall upon Smilin' Gary, British Ted, and Gay Tim transferring pounds of cocaine into several smaller baggies for distribution. You stroll over to their tables and spot all three of them start rubbing their noses at the sight of you.

"Really?" you throw your arms up. "It's been like twenty minutes since I asked you not to do drugs at work."
"We just work faster this way," Smilin' Gary protests. "You wouldn't understand. You're just sitting behind that desk all day. We're on our feet, using our hands-"
"It's bloody manual labor, mate," British Ted interrupts in a terrible, clearly fake cockney accent.
"Besides, it seems to work for Meth Carlton," Gary objects.
The four of you watch as Meth Carlton lifts an entire wooden pallet of heroin off of a box truck and carry it across the warehouse. His eyes are the size of dinner plates and you can hear him grinding his teeth from twenty yards away.
"Holy shit those are some productive minutes right there," you mutter in spite of yourself.
Gary nods. "See?"
"If it makes you feel any better, this won't be the only white substance going up my nose today," Tim chuckles.
"It absolutely does not," you grimace. "Alright look, I'm not gonna bust you, but how do you think the boss man would react if he found out you were stealing his product?" you ask the trio.
You see the three consider the consequences quietly. "Not... not well probably," Gay Tim. "And don't you mean boss woman?"
You see Smilin' Gary and British Ted exchange confused glances.
You sigh. Just as you thought. "I'll do you guys one better. Who told you to do this? Who do you think is in charge right now?"
The group looks to Tim first. "It's Penelope," he answers as if it's obvious. "She's been in charge for years."
"I would bet my life that neither Ted nor Gary knows who the fuck Penelope is," you reply.
Tim laughs. "Hehe, well that's ridicul-" he trails off as he peeks over at the others and realizes you were telling the truth. "Well what the hell happened to Penelope?"
"She was probably killed a long time ago," you answer.
"By who?" Tim demands angrily.
"Oh shit," Smilin' Gary whispers. "You think Abe killed her? And that's why he's in charge now?"
"Maybe. But he's not in charge either. He's dead too." You see British Ted open his mouth to start to speak, but you cut him off. "And yes, Ted. Flynn killed Abe and took his place. But I just found out Flynn's been dead for two weeks."
"So who the fuck's in charge now?" Gary asks.
You shrug. "As of ten minutes ago it was Todd Floris, but I just saw Brent Floris get on the elevator so it's anyone's guess."
British Ted bangs the table. "And you daen't try teh stop 'im, lad? That's our bloody leader, you wanker!"
---

You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.