LogFAQs > #917741421

Steamboat finds 911 guilty of being late to pick up his travel buddy, and Peewee Moore guilty of not shaking hands.

ECW Cyberslam
Week 3, Feb. 1996

Alfonso and Heyman start in the ring, ready for some exciting retcon action because I keep forgetting that the Network has poor chemistry in tag matches. Heyman says that the Network can't just let Douglas skip defending the title! The fans want to see the belt on the line at a PPV! Alfonso and Heyman go back and forth a bit, before being interrupted by Chavo Guerrero Jr.! Chavo complains (...rightly) that he's gotten lost in the shuffle of all this nonsense. Alfonso gets fed up and alters tonight's tag match to keep both of them happy. It'll now be Douglas and Chavo against Sandman and RVD, with both the ECW and TV Titles on the line! He warns Chavo not to make him regret this. (D+) That match happens RIGHT NOW. Both teams are thrown-together pairings, but are on the same page nonetheless, and the match goes back and forth, with all four getting in some offense. Chavo starts to seem a bit out of his league towards the end...but here comes Jericho! Jericho waylays Sandman on the outside, preventing a key tag, and Douglas is able to come in and take out RVD for the win a bit later. (C-; Sandman was drunk.)

The Pitbulls get their chance against What the Flock! Stevie and Christian don't yet have QUITE the chemistry needed to deal with guys this tough, and the Pitbulls go over soundly. (D) Raven scolds his cronies after the match, particularly focusing on Stevie. They have to get their act together! (D+)

Bam Bam Bigelow and Too Cold Scorpio tear the house down despite their being no story behind it. Bam Bam goes over. (B-) Parka gets a shot at redeeming himself against Henry in singles action, but....can't. (D)

Tag Titles Street Fight! Cactus and Whipwreck and the Gangstas beat the bejeezus out of each other all over ringside, but Cactus manages to be the last one standing when the dust settles. (C+; New Jack was on drugs (twice, somehow?) and also doesn't like Brawling matches???) Big Dick and Buh Buh Ray represent the Dudleys against the Eliminators. The Dudleys can't quite seem to sync up, and make some costly mistakes leading to an Eliminators win. (D) Bubba and Dick argue after the match, with Bubba storming off. (D+)

Barry Windham gets a chance for revenge, facing Sabu in a Tables match. Windham refuses to play into Sabu's style, instead keeping him grounded with old-school heel style. Sabu doesn't quite know what to do with that, and Windham breaks form at the end just to put him through a table for the win. (B-) He found DIVINE POWER in order to conquer his enemies at their own game! (C)

This could be the final chapter of Dreamer and Raven! They face off in...a disappointingly pedestrian Hardcore match. Stevie and Christian are notably absent, and Beulah seems content to observe. Dreamer busts Raven open with a series of chair shots before securing the big win. (D+) He tries to talk to Beulah after the match, but she just pushes past him and storms off, souring his victory celebration and not even filling my hot women quota. (C-)

Overall: D+ FORGOT TO LOOK AT THE NOTES

Sandman: Strike 3 (remember, I give 4)
New Jack: Strikes 2 & 3

It'll be a bit before I can tally but I suspect 5tar won? The prize, just to get you thinking of it, is that I (theoretically) have a new guy coming in, and you get to pick an ME for him to feud with. I'll get the list of options and the official standings when I get a chance.
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A thousand candles of peace