LogFAQs > #914577201

CE hates fat people, so this should be an interesting topic.

Note: I am not looking for sympathy at all. I'm aware that my life is completely my choice. I just wanted people to know what is going through a lot of fat people's minds. I personally am in a very scary place, which is why I made the choice to become obese, which I will explain below.

To put it simply, bad foods are basically the only thing I truly look forward to in life. I could spend hours just thinking about eating something that is bad for me and when I finally do, it is, in my opinion, the best feeling I could possibly experience. No amount of sex, or relationships, or friendships could possibly live up to how amazing I feel, just for a little while, when eating bad foods. Drinking and drugs are pretty good (and tbh would probably be better/healthier for me) but food is so much better. I see no reason to deny myself that pleasure even if it means I will never be able to have the things that make most people happy (a good job, healthy friendships, relationships, etc.), and even if it kills me (which it will) I don't care. Even when I was thin, it was a cycle of binging food and eating <1000 cals/day. I cannot function without it and the reasons people tell me to stop the food addiction/lose weight piss me off every time. Here are some common ones:

"nO oNe maKeS thE chOiCe tO bE ugLy, yoU wanT To bE BeAuTifUl YoU'rE Just DenYinG it" usually followed by "eVerYoNE is rePULSEd bY yoU thE wAy YoU LoOk NOW" - Actually, I feel much more comfortable now that I know no one will approach me. When I was thinner and people wanted to approach me/I had friends I would constantly think about how I was sure these people secretly hated me and how they didn't really want to be friends with me. My personality is boring as shit and was even when I was thin, the online version of my personality is okay but IRL I'm completely boring (I'm sure this has to do with my social anxiety and autism). Sure enough, it was confirmed to me on one of the last days of junior year of HS (was still thin) when everyone was allowed to leave the room but someone else (another student) had to come pick them up. My "friends" and I were talking until people came to pick my "friends" up slowly, one by one, and not me. It was funny because almost all of them asked me for a pencil so that they could sign their hall pass. So then I was alone in the room with the teacher, and even she left, lol. That was a pretty sad moment, but it confirmed to me how people felt for me. Good riddance to those fake relationships, I feel much better without people bothering me and trying to become fake friends.

"yOU wOnT haVe aS MuCH SeX! and YoU WoNT bE AbLE to DaTE!!!!" - I don't enjoy sex that much. I did quite a lot of it when I was thinner and it was just okay. Of course, no one wanted to be in a relationship with me because I'm not that good looking even when I am thinner, and I have gynecomastia no matter what weight I am, so I have to wait 10 years and make a huge salary to get surgery so that I can be thin and date thin people, which would probably just still make me insecure? Fuck that. Food is so much better. Maybe some people have the discipline to wait that long to fulfill their goals and that makes them happy, but I don't. I'm a lazy person -- why do you think I'm fat? I did have one "relationship" and it was just the person cleverly manipulating me to get sex. I was fat at that point too, funny how people will do incredible things just to get sex from even the least sexually desirable of people. I don't want to deal with everyone else's problems.