LogFAQs > #906589712

(1)Solid Snake vs (18)Isaac (Golden Sun) vs (27)Commander Keen




Snake comes out of the gate dick first, asserting his dominance over Link and smacking Isaac so hard upside the head that he knocked him out of the Smash roster forever.

Hey let's take a trip over to the Smash Ultimate board, shall we?



Wow! People seem to really want this Isaac guy. They want him so much that Sakurai took him out as an Assist Trophy in Smash 4, the only time that has ever happened ever.

Remember how close Felix got to Master Chief back in the day? Look at Isaac now, unable to triple Commander Keen. No wonder Sakurai isn't putting him in Smash. What does he owe to the 6637 people asking for him?

I want to take a moment to talk about Solid Snake and ZenOfThunder's newly-coined Martyr Factor (or the MFer):

Konami spent the years post-Summer 2013 taking big, steamy dumps all over Kojima, Kojima Productions and Metal Gear Solid V. The franchise itself is in ruins, and everyone is aware. The developers of Metal Gear Survive, the heavily-panned, poorly selling Rust-like spinoff of MGS, were even in on the hate, hiding easter eggs in their own games dissing their Konami producers and crying out for their lord and savior Kojima to save them.

But what does that mean for Snake? Well, obviously he's not going to be in any games outside of Smash Ultimate anytime soon. Hayter would be willing to voice him but outside of Sakurai asking him to reprise the role in Smash, Konami doesn't seem (Commander) keen on bringing him back. Keifer Sutherland has such a busy schedule filming such classic new films as Pompeii and Flatliners that there's no way Konami could get him back to record three more grunts for a new MGS game.

So where am I going with this? Shouldn't Snake be weaker with less appearances? Well, yeah. Yeah he should. That's where you mix in a vial of concentrated Zen "kind of reaching there, buddy" juice.

The downfall of MGS, Kojima and Snake was so highly publicized and Konami was villainized to such an extreme degree that I believe love for Snake has reached a new level, and the story of his fall will be etched into gaming history in such a way that people will vote for him not only out of love but respect and a little bit of pity. Even though MGSV was pretty polarizing, the fate of Kojima offsets all the negative feelings, because even if the game was lacking, it was not Kojima's fault, not Snake's fault, it was Konami's fault, and FucKonami.

The MFer.

You heard it here first.

Snake > Link 2018 let's go boys

(6)Alucard vs (13)Captain Falcon vs (22)Rydia




It was here at our 30th match of the contest that we finally got something balls-to-the-walls entertaining. Not counting Draven.

Every ingredient for a successful match was here: A reliable contest all-star, a four-time Smash vet and crowd favorite, and a classic, semi-proven Final Fantasy character with titties that, uh, beat Marcus Fenix once.

Yeah, Rydia wasn't a lock to pull any upset here, but people always overestimate FF characters. Actually, I don't remember much intense debate here. People dismissed Falcon pretty easily. Alucard, again, has proven himself as a strong competitor in these things. He's no jobber.

But thanks to low votals Falcon was able to come dangerously close and the two were able to trade blows throughout the day. These are the matches Allen should aim to create. I was on the edge of my seat all day. My bracket said "Alucard" but my heart said "Captain Falcon" and I suppose my dick said "Rydia" so no matter what I was a winner.
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Is this Elite Beat Agents 2?