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| Topic | I'm going to perform stand up tonight. |
| Sting 12/24/17 1:24:26 PM #13: | Here's a couple you could try: "I had to call in to my other job to be here tonight. Don't you just hate it when you call in and they try to fuck with you about it? I finally got to the point where, when I call in and they ask questions I just say, "I've been on the toilet all night." And after that all questions usually stop." "But if they keep asking then I just go ahead tell them that I have the green apple splatters. I'll be like, "I'm sorry, but I've just had EXPLOSIVE diarrhea all fuckin night. And I don't mean the little kind where it just drizzles out. When I say explosive, I mean EXPLOSIVE. Green apple spatters sir, I'm sorry. Could bring you a free sample if you want." "But I know the reason they question you. It's because people are too soft now. And it's the schools fault too. I have a friend that's a teacher and any time a kid fucks up in class or talks shit to the teacher, they just get written up and nothing happens. I wish it were like one of those Clint Eastwood movies where you could just grab them by the ear and be like "Sit down you little shit!" But we're too soft. He's right about this being the pussy generation." --- IT'S SHOWTIME FOLKS! ... Copied to Clipboard! |
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