LogFAQs > #884838998

*Footage of a clearly badly injured CPU driving up to a charity event plays*

'Hello, sir, what have you to give to the Sisterhood of the Orphaned Kittens of Unloved Babies today?'

*A moment passes, and the maimed cyborg simply flexes.*

Two tickets to the gun show, my good miss!

'Oh, thank you kind sir, we were badly in need of spare muscle tissue, Fluffles Esquire the 42nd and Ser Pounce-a-little-bit tore their kitty tendons crying themselves to sleep last night! Just a moment, we need to get the scalpels and general anesthetic." *The nurse nun toddles off, smile beaming a mile wide, and the cyborg simply sits there, still flexing, blank look on his face.*

...Oi do suppose Oi deserved this.

*The nun nurse comes back a hour later, with a bottle of whiskey and an electric chainsaw.* "Sorry, good sir, we were not expecting such a generous donation today, we left the surgical equipment at the Hospishelternarium, will these be alright for the procedure?"

*A strained smile crosses the cyborg's face* ...Yes, yes, that will be quite fine, I've been through worse, ma'am.

"Huzzah! This won't take very long, don't worry, we'll get your donation taken care of and after it we'll give you a soda and a cookie!"

...What kind of-

"Oatmeal banana."

OH HECK YES.

*The screen fades to black as the chainsaw revs up.*

(...I'm sorry, this is the sort of thing that occurs to me on my walks. >_>')
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My thesaurus arrived yesterday, but when I opened it it was blank inside. I have no words to describe how angry I am.