This post will contain massive spoilers for the movie, but dear god, if you read this, it will save you from the absolute abysmal train wreck that was Transformers: The Dark of the Moon. The topic title is not lying, I found this movie WORSE than the second one, which I did not think was possible.
Let me just start off by saying, spoiler-free, that it takes TWO F***ING HOURS of bull s*** before it actually gets to final showdown in a big city. And even then, it still sucks. The action was some of the worst I've ever seen in a Michael Bay movie. The fact that he didn't even FOCUS much on the action packed scenes is just, I don't freakin' know what he was thinking. He seriously tried to make the story in this movie more prominent than ever before. I think Shia Ledouche was actually on the screen more in this movie than he was in either of the previous moves. No lie. The movie favored the humans. Autobots barely got any love, nor did the Decepticons. They should have called this movie Humans vs Decepticons with Autobots Making Scattered Appearances.
So first of all, like I said, the movie tries too hard to have a plot. And you all should know how that goes. It's RIDDLED with more holes than swiss cheese. It made no sense and contradicted itself all over the god damn place. The "twist" is ridiculous, with stupid motivation behind it, and then after that, there's supposed to be a sense of impending doom, but the characters are still just going about all of this like it's just another day but with robots.
Through the first two hours of the movie, any time a Transformer shows up, it amounts to about nothing. They'll talk and interact with humans, they flash their guns a few times, a few times they even fired them. Then of course they had to have another high way scene, which was just stupid in the first place, obviously Bay is running out of ideas, but it wasn't even that great. There were some, very minor, cool points, but even so, after the brief action scene, we're treated to another long, LONG period of nothing happening.
I could go on about the stupidity and the contradictions, but if I haven't convinced you not to see this movie already, there's probably no hope for you. I'm just gonna mention a few more things though, some things that really bothered me the most, but they're big spoilers concerning who may or may not have died.
SPOILERS
F***ing Iron Hide. He got killed by the "plot twist" which he should have had plenty of time to react to, but just stood there like an idiot. That's not the worst part though, it's the fact that they DID NO EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE HIS DEATH. The Autobots just moved on, they didn't so much as even mention they would miss him. Jazz got a better mourning than THAT.
And then god damn Starscream. Correct me if I'm wrong, but he's supposed to be one of the most badass and strongest Decepticons, right? Or something to that effect. He gets killed by, wait for it... f***ing gets killed by SAM. OF ALL PEOPLE. Shia Ledouche actually kills Starscream. With absolutely no help from any Autobot. I was so pissed.
There's also a scene of Optimus getting caught in some wires, and he has to have some help from a few little Autobots to get him out. WIRES. From a couple cranes or something. WIRES are apparently Optimus Prime's weakness.
And then the final showdown, which involves two more deaths, was just utter ridiculous. First of all, it includes the new chick that replaced Megan Fox talking to Megatron and convincing him to fight his ally. Stupid, and then it got worse, that "ally" was defeating Optimus Prime, until Megatron suddenly appeared and shot said "ally" in the back, and then continued to beat him down like nothing. Then suddenly Optimus is back up, all fine and dandy, and rips Megatron's head off like nothing, then continues to kill the "ally" from before. Dear Jesus.
Thankfully, it ended about right after that.
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~Halo Rant mode.