"Earlier today I bought an ancient Bible off a guy for $5. I'm pretty happy about it but I'm still a bit worried so I called in an expert on Bibles to see how much it's really worth."
"Rick, how much did you pay for this Bible?"
"Well, he was asking for $2 million, but I got it for $5."
"Well Rick, I've got something to tell you. The interesting thing about this Bible was that it was autographed by all the famous guys who appeared in it."
"Whoa, really?"
"Yeah look, here's Jesus' autograph right here. And Moses, and Abraham, and Pontius Pilate autographed it right here... oh, oh wow... Muhammad autographed this Bible too for some reason. Obviously he wouldn't do it normally, since, you know, he's the founder of the Islamic religion, but yeah, that really is his signature. And look here, here's an apocryphal book where Jesus says exactly what he thinks about evolution, modern politics, and a whole bunch of other issues. Rick, I think this Bible is worth two BILLION, not two million."
"Wow, thanks dude." *shakes hand* "I never would've known, I was thinking of taking up the guy's offer to pay $10 for it but I'm still glad I got it for $5."
"No problem, Rick, this is a great find."
*Chumlee comes over* "Hey Rick, what you got there? *spills Pepsi all over the ancient Bible*
"God dammit, Chumlee."
--
I chose poorly. Black Turtle chose wisely.