Brit: "Matt, what rules would you like to give to future Big Brother house guests?"
Ragan: "Let's get into your brain."
Matt: "Well, I think that for future Big Brother house guests, it's important to recognize that this is a social game, so you want to make sure that you're getting along with other people in the house, and that other people in the house find you affable and likable. So, when you deliver a joke, trying to make people laugh, you gotta make sure that they understand that it's a joke - so you should always have your punchline face on... after telling a joke."
Brit: "Good idea. Good idea. That way we know."
Ragan: "And every joke that you tell shouldn't come from your own head, they should come from a movie like 'Old School' or 'The Cable Guy'. Really, you can make ALL your jokes come from 'The Cable Guy'. That would be great."
Brit: "That's one of the best things you could do for gameplay."
Ragan: "But be sure to punctuate your joke with a well-placed-"
Matt: "-the punchline face is key, because then other people might not know when to laugh."
Brit: "That's right. And on the same token, you may or may not experience terrible, horrific-"
Hayden: "-Intoelerable-"
Brit: "-Intoelerable jokes from your fellow house guests that are not funny and leave the entire room feeling awkward. So before you come into the house, I strongly recommend working on your fake laugh. Mine goes like this [Rachel imitation]. So that when one of your house guests give you the punchline face, you can go [Rachel imitation], when really, you want to kill yourself."
Ragan: "Now this is going with the social game theme. From time to time, you may have a house guest who says something that you disagree with, but a good strategy might be - if you're trying to make friends in the house - isn't to tell them how ridiculous they are for having an opinion that's different than yours - so you may not want to say things after they express their opinion that's different than yours with an "Mhmm, I don't know, you know?"
Brit: "It's truly, again, intoelerable."
Hayden: "To touch on another topic - when you're trying to make friends in the Big Brother house, it's great to prepare food for others; however, if you're making pancakes in the morning, feel free to leave out the garlic, oregano, parsley-"
Brit: "-Vanilla extract, crushed Fruit Loops-"
Hayden: "-Paprika, M&M's-"
Brit: "-Potatoes, diced rep peppers-"
Hayden: "-Because sometimes, people just want pancakes with syrup."
Matt: "I also think it's important to-"
Brit: "-Sautéed cloves, sliced celery, heads of lettuce, shredded mozzarella cheese-"
Matt: "-A weeks worth of chicken-"
Brit: "-A touch of yogurt-"
Ragan: "Who wants some chicken pancakes?"
Brit: "Sometimes the basics are better."
Matt: "Also, being a social game, there's oftentimes many personalities in the Big Brother house, so you have to understand that it's important to be able to relate to everyone else. So you need to always come into the house prepared with general topics of conversation that everyone can relate to, like Copernicus, or Hydrogen Ion bonds, or the Laws of Inertia. You know, things that all can converse about."
Brit: "Things that everyone can talk about."