Just the Tip!
Ragan: "Look, I know I do cast stones living in a glass house. I do realize that I have been farting... non-stop - I own that, I take it. I realize that some of my craps have been 'less than pleasant'. But you have to understand that this is a symptom of the slop. But have I been terrible lately?"
Brit: "No, I think that it was just the slop."
Ragan: "Right. Once I got off the slop, once I started being a 'have', I was okay. So, I'm not above it, but there's no need on national television to talk about waking up with vomit all over yourself, clutching onto hundred dollar bills, that you just got from turning multiple tricks in Las Vegas. There's no need to discuss diarrhea coming out of your body, at a party, with a group of businessmen."
Hayden: "No. Definitely not."
Brit: "Agreed."
Hayden: "Now Brit, let's turn to you. What do you think? What's your take on the situation?"
Brit: "I think that the rule-of-thumb in the Big Brother house is just to always think "is what I'm about to say classy or not?" And if it is not, you definitely need to rethink the statement. And even if you're gonna say something non-classy, perhaps don't just say anything that would make you look like a giant whore. You know, if you have slightly whore-ish moments that have to come out - you know, one or two accidents maybe - let's not say anything overtly obnoxious. And nobody wants to see your areolas."
Hayden: "In my opinion, you need to take the classic "'WWJD' - What Would Julie Do?" approach. If Julie Chen says "yes" - that's acceptable. If she says "let's turn to somebody else" - that's not acceptable."
Brit: "And Julie's a witty woman. You know, if a "that's what she said" or some other... sexual pun came up, that might be okay. But what we don't think is okay is when you workout in your bikini and we see you feedle-dop from behind."
Hayden: "Another 'no-no' is changing your bikini top in the spa."
Brit: "Right."
Hayden: "It's great... maybe once, but more than once? No."
Brit: "If we have to put your 'nip slips' together to create a breast online, that's... still not acceptable, but better than just exposing them flat out."
Hayden: "Back to you, Ragan."
Ragan: "I'm going to say that I think that future Big Brother houseguests should strictly abide by Hayden's recommended 'WWJD - What Would Julie Do?' Julie Chen would not expose her areolas in the backyard of the Big Brother house. Call me crazy, and trust me on this, as I'm somebody who Julie Chen regularly finds disgusting - especially on live shows-"
Hayden: "-I'll go in and agree on that-"
Ragan: "-Julie Chen would most definitely not wear underwear, walking around the house, with her v***** hanging out. I'm just going out on a limb here and saying that that's not Julie Chen."
Brit: "Covering your labia is always a good idea. I would say always."
Hayden: "Yeah, in most everyday situations, covering the private areas is recommended."
Brit: "Absolutely."
Hayden: "How about going onto the next topic - the SaboTOE?"
Brit: "The Sabotoe."
Hayden: "The Sabotoeee."
Brit: "Okay, before coming on Big Brother, or any other national television show, a visit to your podiatrist might be in your best interest. If you have some kind of gnarly toe problem, where your toe looks like its own brand of disease-"
Hayden: "-If your toenail is flaky, disfigured, off-color-"
Brit: "-Or obnoxiously thick-"
Hayden: "-Or looks like a broken table ornament-"
Brit: "-If it comes personally equipped with its own shield-"
Hayden: "-If it's impenetrable even by armor-piercing rounds-