Now... I know you all saw me fight valiantly in my efforts to overthrow XIII tonight, but there's only so much one can do. First off, let's look at the highlights!
*Zero prepares to dropkick XIII off the apron and through a table. The dropkick connects, but a nearby KCF pulls the table out of the way in time for XIII to hit the floor table-free. Zero brawls with KCF and throws him against the metal steps, only to be blindsided by XIII and suplexed through a table*
...even with the outcome of the match, I was willing to leave tonight to my hotel and let XIII have his moment, doing whatever it is that he does; considering that he's only good with tables and whiskey and nothing else, I'm pretty sure XIII is a stripper. However, when I got to my car, the Merch Lawyer for Whiskey on the Rocks was there, and stated that I must come out here and congratulate XIII and call him the better man in front of everyone, or else be sued.
But I'll do one better than that. I won't just talk about XIII Rocks, I will talk directly TO XIII Rocks, because I not only represent the XFL, but I also now represent the people AND fans of the UCA that are not XIII. So without further adue, my guest on Zero Tolerance with ZeroSignal is none other than the infamous GM himself, XIII Rocks!
*XIII's music plays, but instead of XIII coming out, we get DaGeneticFreak with a giant burlap sack! DGF comes down to the ring and opens the sack, which is 13 rocks of different shapes and sizes. He places them all on the guest chair*
Everyone, give it up... for thirteen rocks! *pop*
Now, thirteen rocks, we don't have a lot of time here, but I do want to congratulate you on a fine job you've done as a GM in the UCA. Of course, no one's perfect, and there have been better GMs than you in the past, but I'm here to talk about the General Managers that you were better than, and here they are! *Points to UCA's jumbo screen*
Entourage star, Jeremy Piven!
Famous comedian, Cedric the Entertainer!
And last, but not least, former GM of the Detroit Lions, Matt Millen!
...and that's all the time we have! *pushes the chair full of rocks over, which is followed by DaGeneticFreak doing pushups on the rocks*
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My only regret is not having faith in Phoenix Wright. Hats off to SuperNiceDog