we can now stop pretending anybody else is going to randomly wander in
WWE NXT
3/1/12
Pre-show: Gail/SDR d. Bellas (51); Slater taunts Smith (67); Vince announces the MitB Qualifier (50)
-MitB Qualifier Ladder: Parka/Dutt v. Edwards/Mordecai
As with most such matches, it’s the team competing for the Rookie to get a spot. Dutt dives onto the heels, allowing Parka to claim the contract!
Rating: 52
-Parka and Dutt are mid-celebration when Barrett and Daivari come out and insult them! It’s a laughable match, because Daivari deserved this opportunity over either of those Rookies!
Rating: 55
-Match: Kidd v. Williams
Cap’n Petey puts up a good match for once, but not enough to stop one half of the tag champs.
Rating: 71
-US Title: Slater © v. Rollins
Slater with another hard-fought but successful defense.
Rating: 59
Good chem
-Slater and Williams are doing the YES bit in the ring, and Orton’s had enough! He RKO’s them both!
Rating: 74
-Match: Show/Cabana v. Cryme Tyme
Cabana’s a bit out of his league here, but manages a ROLLUP to win!
Rating: 62
-Cryme Tyme are incensed at the loss, and attack Colt until Show drives them away.
Rating: 64
Post-show: Yoshi/Estrada promo (56); Yoshi d. Estrada (50)
Overall: 62
Dutt overused, Colt slightly overused
FROM THE BOOKERMAN
-....what possessed me to put Cryme Tyme in the ME over Kidd
-Slater and Rollins with good chem...I feel like that could be a fun feud a few months down the line.
-DUTT PUSH IS GO
NEWSWIRE
-Impact scored a stellar 82, thanks in no small part to Angle and Sting tearing down the house for the title. Devon and Pope went over Styles and Daniels in an excellent midcard match, as well.
-I guess TNA has dropped Xplosion
-Next wave of retirements: Duggan, Pat Tanaka, Demolition Smash
WWE SMACKDOWN
3/1/12
Pre-show: Divas of Doom promo (76); Haas/Dibiase d. Khali/Whitmer (60, Khali/DDP awful chem); Show/Colt and Barrett/Daivari squabble over the upcoming match (61)
-THE ROCK SAYS that he is looking forward to his usual boot/ass shenanigans with Cena because the Rock is ready to be done with this jabroni! Anyway, we have MITB QUALIFIERS tonight! Who will join Chavo, Masters, and Dutt?
Rating: 88
-MitB Qualifier: Show v. Barrett
Pretty ugly match. Barrett gets a mercifully quick win.
Rating: 69
-Match: Ryder v. Clay
Pretty even match, but when Sheamus comes to ringside to hang out, the resultant distraction gives Ryder the win.
Rating: 62
-Sheamus says that his win over Christian is a foregone conclusion! Christian is nothing but a coward who lucked into his Rumble win, and Sheamus has beaten him t'ree times recently! He's not afraid of Christian, and looks forward to continuing to be champion after Mania.
Rating: 83
-#1 Contender: Gail v. Layla v. Rosa v. Natalya
Unsurprisingly, Gail gets the win.
Rating: 67
-Carlito says this is his big chance, and that DDP isn't cool. DDP comes out and pitches his yoga, and Carlito says that's not cool either. What is cool is Carlito winning Money in the Bank!
Rating: 68
-MitB Qualifier: DDP v. Carlito
Geesh. DIAMOND CUTTER OUT OF NOWHERE for the win.
Rating: 57
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~Tommeri Uranius Bombaldi the Fourth, esq.
If you can read this, I'm probably posting from my phone or something!