- wiki is updated on the new characters. need to add terrains but that's minor in comparison.
- below are comments.
Arctrus:
it's mentioned that "later in the story" he's controlling weather and doing tornados. is that relevant for the character here at all?
any ideas as to what's comparable to the 'toughest material of his world' is, or do you want to keep that vague? either's fine, people can assume whatever that's supposed to mean, but wondering if you meant anything in mind.
- i'm.... not sure the idea of 'he's trying to move all atoms at random directions!' conveys exactly what you mean? Like, that can be used in a couple ways, i'd assume it's a sort of 'and now everything just breaks down' from what you said. again, can be left to interp fine (because really, nobody's gonna assume that he nukes himself or even has the force to do that to atoms).
Xander Clyde:
he seems interesting but can you explain the mark system a bit more? right now, i'm not entirely sure what the 1-2-3 tidbits are on the marks, i assume it's that, once the target is marked, he can do one of those things. some actions will in turn remove the mark (shades of Johnny in Guilty Gear and his coins). some can take advantage of the marks with repeated effects (e.g., cutting through different planes of reality).
also related to this, how does he mark a target. i don't think that's actually said anywhere.
wording quip, but mind where you have "affect" and "effect." just a small thing i noticed that came up a couple times in the writeup.
Raiakara
the only thing i have to say here is a question: what's with all the "as well" in the writeup? character seems fine otherwise, there's some higher tier stuff out there that's really worked that division into existence. if this character's from the same series as your earlier two, he.... doesn't seem that much crazier than the last, if at all.
The Ambassador
o_o;
did i just basically see a snake/sam fisher crossover with a western. like... he's human. very human. ...and i think a 'he', but you did mention 'her' at one point. am i missing something here?
(haven't read pirateking's yet because it's painful. will get to it... probably later 'today'/tomorrow.)
--
"Maybe it's a tentacle, molesting the planet itself. - Aschen Brodel.