LogFAQs > #962577492

To be fair, you have to have a very high astrological transit to understand Tool. The lyrics are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of the Fibonacci Sequence most of the allusions will go over a typical listener's head. There's also Maynard's psychoanalytic outlook, which is deftly woven into his vocalizations- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Carl Jung literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the Peyote sensitivity to truly appreciate the depths of these themes, to realise that they're not just pretentious- they say something deep about ANAL. As a consequence people who dislike Tool truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the anti-pessimism in Maynard's apocalyptic mantra "Learn to Swim," which itself is a cryptic reference to Bill Hick's comedic epic Arizona Bay. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those Coke-sipping hookers scratching their penis heads in confusion as Reverend Keenan's genius wit unfolds itself on their picture discs. What jerkoffs.. how do I tolerate them?

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Maynard's Dick tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that their rectal temperatures are within 4 degrees of my own (preferably higher) before I insert my hand. Nothin personnel carrot