LogFAQs > #960902439

MasterChief5000 posted...

Rinku it seems like your love for her turned into hatred. Also the love spell that binded you to her wore off, so it makes sense that you see her like that now.

That's the screwed up thing; I still love her. If she came walking in, crying that it was all a mistake and begging for a third chance... I'd probably do exactly what I did last time: tell her no at first and then give in after she cried some more.

All my friends would judge me. I've had a few of them outright tell me, "If you take her back, I'm not helping you out next time she does this. I literally don't want to hear about it when she breaks your heart a third time. And she will."

They'd be right to feel that way too. Most of my family hates her now. I've had some say, "I'll support you no matter what, but you shouldn't give her another chance," but that's still a pitying, "You dumb, dumb moron," in disguise (and completely deserved).

I wouldn't care though. I wouldn't give a damn what anyone thought this time. I just miss her. I could live with everyone thinking I'm the world's most pathetic, spineless wimp if it meant having her back.

Logically, I know that's just my emotions talking. I'll never trust her again for as long as I live. I had just started to really trust her and heal from the first incident. That took nearly six months and this time is so much worse. There's no coming back from it.

So I miss her, but I know it's a horrible idea. I can tell when I look at her and don't feel even an ounce of the warmth my memory of her still conjures. It's killing me, but I don't have any choice but to live with it.