Duncan walks into the dollar store. He tells the cashier: I wanted to marry an Australian actress. She is hot. She looks like those women who have sex but she does not have sex. Or at least she hasnt told me. But I am not marrying her. I am marrying my girlfriend. I met her at the mall. We ate onion rings together. Sometimes she smells like onion rings too. I want a ring shaped like an onion, sell it to me