LogFAQs > #956506255

This reminds me of the I needed help from my IT department and I didn't have time to explain everything so I basically did this:1: don't use the body of the email. Ignore it. Pretend it doesn't exist.
We don't like having to actually click and read the body. It's pointless. Takes too much time.

2: make sure to use all caps. I mean EVERYTHING IN CAPS. Why? Because you want your email to stand out right? Of course you do. You don't want Janice in accounting getting her emails read before you do you?

3. Make sure to give a set of words that don't make sense to us. This way we are more likely to jump onto that email title (remember no body, title only) and rush down to you to help you. Something like 'I was on vacation for two weeks and I can't remember the password for the email I use once every 6 months to send out reports can you please help?' is absolutely useless. That tells me the problem and how to solve it. You think we like being told what the problem is and how to solve it? No we hate it.

4. Always be passive aggressive. We love it. We absolutely will run to your rescue if you treat us like we're your personal servant.

Now let's all put this together shall we using two emails

Subject: HELP!!!!! CODE ISNT WORKING FOR COMPUTER!!!!
Body:

That's a go getter right there.
All caps? Check!
Subject only? Check!
Fucked up amount of exclamation marks? Check!

'But wait', you think, 'that doesn't sound very passive aggressive to me'.
And you are right my friends. It isn't.
This is why when IT replies with:

'Hi {redacted name},
Can you explain when you say code, what do you mean? I'm guessing the password for the computer is working just fine since you just emailed me. Do you mean someone needs the wifi password? It's {redacted password}. If you mean the door codes that was moved over to security, their mobile is {redacted number}.

And then that is where you my friends reply with:

'I just need the code!!! How hard is it to look it up??!!!!'

And then I forward to the principal with 'yeah she's not getting help until she learns how to write emails properly. She emails parents daily and if she's acting like that then you might want to dicuss how to compose an email'


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Y helo thar buttsecks Eric Clapton is legit 100% the GOATEST of GOAT GODs.