How much did your breasts grow during/after all the hormone stuff?
How did dysphoria feel for you if you even felt it? I find myself questioning things about myself lately and I've kinda felt like I might be trans even looking back when I was a teen but I don't know anything about it and I've never felt that uncomfortable with my body. I know everyone is different about it but still.
since these arent specific to GRS and i love talking about this stuff I thought i would chime in...
this varies wildly between people based on your genetics and other stuff. i have A cups after about 9 months on hormones. It generally takes about 2-3 years to reach your maximum breast growth
dysphoria is going to feel different for everyone, and sometimes it takes a really long time to process that it is what you're feeling. also, not every trans person is dysphoric about their assigned gender - you might just feel euphoric about being a different gender. (it sounds like you already know this part, but i just wanted to make sure i covered it lol)
trans people who do experience dysphoria often describe it as a feeling like their body is wrong, or being taken over by an unwanted intrusions. for example, a trans woman experiencing male puberty might feel like the body hair she's growing is a kind of violation that's ruining her body
for me, (content warning: eating disorders, vague suicidal ideation) my dysphoria manifested since puberty as an overwhelming disgust with my body, but i didnt really place it in one particular aspect. my body hair, facial hair, face structure, voice, and the way fat sat on my body all just really grossed me out. it was like i'd been placed inside this vile object by a cruel and unloving god. i got really into gnosticism because of this as well
i developed an eating disorder when i started college because i thought losing weight would make me happy with my body. that didn't really help, so i just decided i would never be happy with the prison i lived inside, and spent almost my entire 20s trying to ignore my physical body as much as possible.
i spent like 2 years without having a mirror in my house, before somebody bought one for me and i didn't know how to explain that looking at myself really stressed me out. i constantly fantasized about evaporating, being annihilated in a sudden flash of light, being uploaded into a machine, etc.
I sometimes tried to wear more feminine clothes, paint my nails, etc. but people's reactions to this really stressed me out. i hated that it seemed to make me the center of attention so i just stopped. I didn't fully understand what trans people were or think that i could be trans until i was like 27, and then i thought i was too late and it would just make me hate my body more for another year or so before i really reached rock bottom.
i was so depressed and so uncomfortable with anybody seeing me that i decided i didn't have a choice other than deciding to transition. when i started out with being more feminine i pretty much instantly noticed that it really helped, and i felt confident enough to handle a little more of the attention-ness. it still took me another year after that to start hormones because i had so much internalized transphobia about it. but i finally did last year.
I still have pretty nasty dysphoria especially about my face, but this is definitely the happiest and most comfortable ive ever felt about my body. experiencing it firsthand also made me way less of a chud about diversity and representation. i think i would have transitioned a lot earlier if my perception of trans people growing up wasn't just from porn and jerry springer. seeing smart, successful trans women like contrapoints really helped me
edit: also, i think the easiest way to tell if you're trans is to just try stuff out. this depends a lot on your life situation, but if you have a safe way to experiment with how you dress and your gender presentation, how you feel about that stuff should help you a lot with understanding
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hi im chelsea ^__^ 'thou shalt not suffer a dentist to live' - chelsea