LogFAQs > #955701119

I haven't seen my family since quarantine. They're all die-hard anti-vaxx Qanon conspiracists who spent quarantine harassing me about not coming home for a year and refused to accept COVID as an excuse. Treating me like I'm nuts and ridiculous for not wanting to spend the holidays in cramped quarters with 15+ people who think COVID is a joke. Of course I also didn't want to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas hearing them bitch about the results of the election. And those holidays were already bad enough with Trump Christmas tree ornaments and Fox News blaring on Christmas morning during the big Family Gathering.

They did whittle me down to accepting their request to come up and spend an hour with me on Christmas Day, but the fuckers showed up maskless, scoffed at me for wearing one, got all up in my face, and even went on campus when I explicitly told them visitors weren't allowed.

Later on, a couple days before 1/6, my father calls me up and starts asking me questions like how much food I have and whether I'll be able to drive home on a moment's notice. I asked him what the deal was with these vague questions but he refused to elaborate. Once I made it clear I had no intention of driving home within the next few days he giggled and said "Okayyyyyyyy" in a drawn-out 'don't-say-I-didn't-warn-you' sort of way.

On Mother's Day my father called me, screaming about how my mother's crying because I haven't been home in a year and how I'm emotionally abusing her and saying I need to either come home immediately or whatever happens after will be my fault because I wasn't there for them, and that I need to "make a decision". Presumably he was referring to whether or not I intend to just never see them again, which... I mean, I'm always entertaining that possibility, for obvious reasons. I called my mother up and promised I'd come home over the summer, which seemed to smooth things over, though the next time I talked to her she was accusing me of being extremely selfish over the last year and not understanding why I won't come home.

I really am reaching the end of my rope with them. If I had been born into a remotely sane family none of this would have been an issue, but instead I have to deal with all this inane and utterly unnecessary drama because they don't want to accept my not wanting to be coming in close quarters with them during a panic. And to be honest, I don't think I'm going to be able to avoid confrontations by changing the subject or skirting around conversations like I have for the past several years. Both because I'm sick of their bullshit and kind of willing to take a hit to my financial security for the sake of being rid of them and because they're becoming increasingly rabid and I don't think they'd let me avoid an inquisition into my political beliefs at this point. And I know THAT won't go over well, there's extended family that they cut contact with forever ago because they're liberals.

The worst part of it is that I do love them(to varying and increasingly diminishing extents) and would genuinely feel awful for the rest of my life knowing how crushed my mother would be to not have me in her life, but good fucking gravy. I can't keep walking this tightrope, and I can't keep pretending to be something I'm not by omission. I think, once I go home in a few weeks, that I will very quickly be harassed about my decision to get vaccinated and/or not come home for a year, and everything will spiral out of control from there. I think there's a very real possibility that I'll show up one day and be on my way back to my current residence the very same day because I got disowned.

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AKA LordCarlisle