LogFAQs > #950235717

If you want to hang a label round my neck, you could call me a "liberal" because for years, many of my views have been moderately left of centre. But I had to walk a long, rocky, and twisted road before I reached that destination. I say that because I'm ashamed to admit that I pissed away several years of my wasted youth as an activist on the extreme right. I'm a living, breathing example of that near-mythical political creature: a reformed neo-Nazi.

Older GameFAQers who know me from other boards and accounts probably wouldn't make that connection because -- thank God -- I'm a radically different person to the person I once was. The only relics I have left from that part of my life are a couple of tattoos plus the shaved head.

There's a huge gulf that separates me from that earlier life. One measure of that distance is that I went from supporting convicted loyalist terrorists in Ulster (in my time I've sloshed around with quite a few people you probably wouldn't want to share a drink, or a jail cell, with) to genuine human rights activism with organizations like Amnesty International. I turned my back on white separatist groups like the AWB and demonstrated against apartheid instead. (Yes, that's right: I am that old.)

So, what happened? Did I find Jesus? Fuck that. Instead, it was something I refused to believe would be possible: I fell in love with a black girl. It was a shock like having a beer glass smashed into my face. Which other metaphor should I go for here: it "turned my life turned upside down", or, "it opened a door and let in the light"? Whatever, you get the idea. I'm not going to bore you with an inspirational, heart-warming story of the redemptive, transforming power of love, blah blah.

So, am I a worse person or a better person than someone who never needed to make a journey like that? I don't know. All I know is, I was essentially a fucking car-crash failure as a normal human being and I spent a good chunk of my life since then working at being a far better person than I was. I don't beg for or expect forgiveness; I've tried to put things right because, quite simply, it was the right thing to do. I'm not going to pretend to be a hero, saint and martyr, and know I can still be a shitty person in some ways, on some days.

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Incinerate