LogFAQs > #949849257

The state of the job market in America

Wanted: Cashier

Requirements: 5 years experience
Capable of speaking English, Spanish, French, French Creole, German, Greek, Ancient Greek, Italian, Swahili, Hindi, and High Elven
A minimum of a 4 year degree in Astrophysics, Economics, Medicine, Robotics, and Underwater Basket Weaving.
Responsibilities: Stay up way past your quitting time for no OT stocking, restocking, doing electrical work, dealing with problematic customers, retiling the shop, doing plumbing work, and carrying around your manager piggy-back style on command.

Hours: 80 hours a week. No OT, you get 5 PTO days a year and 2 sick days that require a doctors note (and we'll still harass you over it).
Pay: $4.98/Hr
Promotion: PHAHAHAHAHA! All upper management positions are filled by the manager, his mistress, and family/friends of the manager. If you're lucky you might get promoted to working the freezer/back shelves where you don't have to deal with customers.
Job Security: The only reason you're not replaced is because ICE is breathing down our necks so we can't hire Jose' for $3.00 an hour without them noticing.

And, of course, if you actually get hired you'll be told there isn't enough money in the budget for a raise/bonus while the manager drives around in a new car.

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I am the gentle hand who heals, the happy smile who shields, and the foot that will kick your ***! - White Mage