Enlistment should be random and universal or voluntary and without any secrecy or euphemism that your job is hired killing. There's a lot of military in my family and it's weird to me that we're supposed to worship these people as gods while ignoring, downplaying and euphemizing the (purported) wholly-just smiting they are employed to do, for the purpose our worship. If what they're doing is good, why can't we call their job what it is?
If the only reason you join the military is for the benefits, you obviously aren't taking the oath very seriously (nor should you, since it's a desperation move in a shit career). The whole thing is a ponzi scheme meant to scoop up the desperate or sociopathic.
If you aren't doing hired killing, but rather data gathering, you'd be better served not being deployed alongside a bunch of tanks and flashy racists. If you aren't doing hired killing but rather just supplying the hired killers with the stuff of life, you should have gotten a job in the hotel industry or catering.
If you're a spouse, you are worth nothing to me, because you chose to join up with a hired killer/for-fun sociopath and that's the row you chose to hoe. I don't fall over myself praising oil rig workers' spouses or the spouses of triage nurses working swing shift (though perhaps ought).