I grew up in a very stoic family. No one showed love or any emotion. Never saw my parents kiss, hold hands, any of that. Didnt grow up religious, thankfully.
My parents were bad parents. My dad was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. He has huge anger problems, and is very narcissistic. Cares about no one elses feelings but his own. My mom never stood up to him around us, and just tried to be as neutral as possible about him.
My dad would kick my brothers and I out of the house during the summers, telling us to go explore and dont come back inside till dinner time. Literally, wed have to find somewhere to go to kill time ALL day. As a kid, I enjoyed it because wed explore neighborhoods, check out abandoned buildings, play baseball, etc...
My parents didnt parent. They didnt help me with school, or really care about my personal life ever. Never asked if I was ok. I grew up VERY self sufficient, and was forced to mature way sooner than my friends/classmates.
Growing up, I didnt think much of it. Thought it was normal to not talk about feelings or have to figure out everything yourself without your parents help. In hindsight, its made me a MUCH stronger person being forced to grow up so fast.
I dont necessarily blame them. They were in over their heads. My mom was stuck in this relationship with a terrible person and did the best she could.
I had a lot of this growing up too. It was better when I was really little, but as I got older I started to realize that we weren't as outwardly expressive with our love as most families. We never made any effort to talk about uncomfortable subjects, and if anything was brought up, it was quickly dismissed and never mentioned again.
It's difficult to develop that ability if it's never been taught; instead I learned how to put up a faade of normalcy, and it stunted my growth as a person for a long time.