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TopicKamek Ranks & Rates Anything Mario Party Related
Kamekguy
05/02/20 6:23:45 PM
#13:


Bumper Balls (MP1 & MP2)
Some would say that Bumper Balls is a fun game of bumper cars but with fun balls. They are wrong. Some would say that Bumper Balls is a game that always ends in a draw because two players bump into each other infinitely at the end. They are also wrong. Bumper Balls is a game of politics, plain and simple. The lower players wordlessly communicate to bounce each other into the winning player, knocking them out. Once the undesirables are eliminated, you have roughly 30 seconds to debate who deserves 10 coins more and what they can do in order for you to give them the win. As this counts toward the mini-game star, this is FAR more valuable than trying to convince them not to steal from you with Boo. It is the stage of destiny on which alliances are formed. But... yeah it kinda sucks 1v1 if your opponent isn't willing to play ball. The hilly variation in 2 helps that, though! I wish it were the only one there! Evens out to about middle of the road, entirely dependent on who you're playing with if it's good or boring.

MP1 Bower Balls > MP2 Star Balls

Toadette
Man, Toad just wasn't the same after he gargled salt water and rusted nails down his throat when the Gamecube came out. Toadette represents the lesser of two evils - you want to be cute mushroom, but you don't want to have an ear-piercing screech. However, she faces stiff competition from Peach and Daisy in the "girl power" department, and from Yoshi and Boo in the "cute" department. AND she is gated behind a 30 star wall in Mario Party 6, something that you COULD spend unlocking Clockwork Castle or more CPU difficulties. She's FINE, but she's far from an instantly appealing choice.

Lights Out (MP2)
Actually a rather clever way of solving the issue with Mario Party 1's hammers! Bash 'n' Cash and Coin Block Blitz were supremely gimped by how predictable the hammer was (B&C less so because that's just delicious cruelty incarnate), simply by removing the ability to see the hammer player. Actual jump scares can happen if the hammer player's any good, and the lightbulb players not being able to jump is especially nice. Vertical slam is absolutely useless, not only is its range worse, but horizontal slam leaves the corpses of the fallen for their living counterparts to trip on, making circling the perimeter rough. It's a pretty fair game for all four players, good fighting game. Not quite tippity top tier as neither role feels ENTIRELY great to be (hammer feels clunky at times and the powerlessness of the light bulb players limits options to constantly making survival-based mind games), but it's very good.

Duel Mode (MP3)
SO much better in concept than it is in practice. Some of the maps (Backtrack, Mr. Mover) are actively unplayable, and the rest range from bad to "yeah I guess Blowhard's alright". Giving each character their own signature partner is a great idea, but Wario and DK might as well not exist with how bad their starters are (Wario a lot moreso). Needing to change a partner with every Start loop and the Lucky Roulette only showing up every three turns makes crafting a party just unfun. The Miss chance ruins the limited number of interactions the players actually have (there is NOTHING worse than succeeding the 2/5ths roll for Baby Bowser to transform, only for Bowser to miss), and Piranha Plant's kinda broken if you have 20 or more coins, they did NOT need to give his 'extra dice' gimmick to that partner. The worst thing, though, is the "Restore Heart Pieces" chance on the Happening Spaces - absolutely disheartening to get one of these as it just resets the game state. So much of this mode can be boiled down to "I sure do hope I roll high enough to continue stalling the game and maybe run out the clock", which is an absolute shame. There are so many little things that could be done - having Pipesqueak have a consistent rotation like Eternal Star that can get reset to another system, choosing one of three random partners from each Start pass, introducing just the Poison and Reverse Mushrooms to the game, reducing Thwomp's salary or swapping him with your partner in back after he's crushed someone - that would bring out this mode's full potential. But for the most part it's just... bad. The song's a bop, though. Not the Story Mode one, that one sucks.

Faire Square (MP6)
The shell game to the right side of the board is just a free star during the Day. That's the only real flaw with this board; that game being too easy overcentralizes the mechanics, making it "get a star in the center at night, head to the right side during the day, swoop back in at night if it's lower than 20, get more cup stars if it's higher". The conceit of the board is amazing - high price haggling to cash in all of your chips at once, gambling to make the high count not snowball too much and leave those who get a slow start in the dust, and a high-interest area to booby trap the crap out of with orbs. Orb placement shines in this board due to that, and it's a great place to grind stars to get Clockwork/make everyone feel important in spite of you being much better at Mario Party than them. It's really only got that one issue keeping it from greatness - no complaints with the rest, even the star-gambling Happening Space.

Millennium Star Tier
Booksquirm (MP4)

Super Star Tier
Faire Square (MP6)
Lights Out (MP2)
Slapparazzi (SMP)

Happening Star Tier
Bumper Balls
Control Stick Spinning (MP1)

Red Star Tier
Toadette

Sonic Shuffle Tier
Duel Mode (MP3)
Kamek (MP2)

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