LogFAQs > #927961882

Raka_Putra posted...

Well, this topic has certainly taken an interesting turn for me.

To me personally, labels should be helpful in defining yourself and meeting people who you would be interested in. If it's become restricting instead, don't bother with it.

I think the issue is not usually whether or not the label feels restrictive to you, but how the label restricts you in the mind of others.

For someone like the earlier mentioned "straight but I'd hook up with a guy" type for example, if he just tells people he is straight then most not rapey guys aren't going to try to hook up with him, so it's restricting him from something he would consider in most people's minds. But if he says he is bi, he is giving the impression to many that he would consider men and women equally, which seems untrue, so the label isn't really useful. In addition, tons of people make assumptions like "bi people don't really exist" or "he must be secretly gay" etc.

Basically, I'd say that labels are almost always not useful because everything means something different to other people and sometimes are just blatantly untrue things people define themselves as for other reasons (ex: in the closet or cultural or religious or family concerns). Someone might feel comfortable saying they are gay to their friends, but absolutely not comfortable saying it to their parents for example.

More useful information can just be gathered from contextual interaction. Ex: if you are a man using Grindr, you are probably willing to sleep with a man. If you are at a gay club and flirting with men, it doesn't really matter if you define yourself as gay, you are clearly willing to have sex with a man. If you are at a party and flirting with a man, you are probably willing to have sex with a man. However, if you are just going out with friends to have fun, it doesn't matter what your sexuality is because that isn't relevant.

In conclusion burn down all labels I demand label anarchy

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