Jesus fucking Christ you're so jaded you can't even realize that you don't have to stay with a cheating spouse to remain in a child's life.
So, they get a divorce, and what? You think he'll get custody? You think she's going to let him see the child? You think she isn't going to make up a bunch of shit about him to tell the kid?
I'm not jaded. You're extremely naive.
The kid would go with the primary caretaker, as they should, and the cheating and lying would be taken into account during the division of assets and custody dispute, as it should be. Things aren't nearly as biased against men as some might think. The issue is that women in our society are usually the primary caretakers and the residue from when that was enforced heavily by society is hard to overcome in terms of the actual child rearing arrangements and then in the courts.
No, the kid would go to the mom. Period. End of story. Her cheating and lying would be deemed irrelevant.
That you are either oblivious or willfully ignorant of these facts is not surprising to me in the least.
I really don't meant this as an insult, but I think your specific experience is blinding you to objective or empirical reality. You are saying that a child would categorically go to the mother, regardless of what happened in the relationship or who was the primary caretaker and that's simply inaccurate.
There may have been a grossly miscarriage of justice in your case, but that doesn't mean that's the way it's supposed to work or how it typically works.
Find 10 cases where the father has been given custody of his children in a divorce. If you can find 10, where the mother was not grossly violent, a repeat offender felon, or a drug dealer, I might be willing to re-examine my stance.
I know you won't, because reality is I am correct. Child custody cases are insanely skewed towards the mother, and have been for decades.
You would have a point if we equally divided child care duties in our society. Then you'd expect to see an equal division of custody. But there's a few basic facts to establish. First, the overwhelming majority of divorces and custody disputes are uncontroversial and negotiated. Second, sole custody is pretty damn rare and only happens when one parent is grossly unfit anyway. Third, women are saddled with disproportionate child rearing duties from birth. When you consider these elements, and the fact that the best interest standard typically comes down to best parent and who spends the most time, it's not surprising that women disproportionately receive custody.
Sole custody typically happens with credible allegations of drug use or domestic violence, and women are primed to value and prepare for child rearing, so yeah, they're typically gonna win. ---