LogFAQs > #923420876

In every Discord server that I am a part of, everyone is always just raving and going on and on about the newest video game releases, and the upcoming video game releases; meanwhile, I'm just sitting at my computer wishing I cared about what they talked about as much as they did. For a while, the people on here and on the servers that I have joined were talking about E3, and I just didn't fucking care. That night, I just wrote in my folder, because I could not stand being online any longer.

It's just that lately, everything seems to look like dung, see. There's nothing exciting happening, and it's so very hard to give a damn about anything. I have thought about becoming a graduate student, but I'm not sure that I even want to return in the first place. I do sometimes day dream about studying math for fun as a graduate student, but every time I do so, I start to remember why I got sick of school to begin with. One of the reasons was that I have a massive inferiority complex that is only exacerbated by people being better at a subject than I am. The other reason was that sometimes, when I come across a math problem I really want to solve, but have extreme difficulty solving, I feel the inexplicable need to choke myself because I feel so worthless and inferior. It just made studying a bad experience for me at home. The former reason made being in class an even worse experience for me in class. I just could not handle it.

That's why I was so miserable in school, and even though I was miserable, I cannot help but miss it even still, because of the feeling of being in class with other people and hanging out in the undergraduate lounge studying. But the main reason why I absolutely cannot go to graduate school--at least, not straightaway--is my lack of professor recommendation. It is needless to say, that with my inherent lack of social skills, why this is the case.

I had been studying linear algebra in my free time since I graduated, but I seem to come across the same problem when I get frustrated trying to understand a math problem as I had when I was still in school. In any case, I find myself these days not really writing or doing many math problems in my free time. These days, I find myself constantly glued to my personal computer, yearning for social interaction because of the ever-present loneliness I feel whenever I am at home. It's unbearable, and it's enough to drive me mad. Anyway, is it normal for someone to not just give a shit about just about anything in his life?

I must have these answers.
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Number XII: Larxene.
The Organization's Savage Nymph.