LogFAQs > #922199481

Background:
I'm almost 26 and haven't had a girlfriend or any sexual activity since high school. I'm about a 6-8 in looks depending on who you ask and about a 3 in the self confidence and social experience department (which has improved since about a year ago).

My friend works at a restaurant and I came up to see him a few weeks ago. Apparently there was a girl he works with who saw me and thought I was really cute (I didn't know for sure who he was talking about). My friend gave her my number and so we started texting for a few weeks. We really hit it off and there was a strong connection. I made a topic on CE where I was debating whether I really wanted her or not though because she was "unspectacular" but I was really just having a panic breakdown about asking her out and making excuses.

Now:
I pulled the trigger and went on the date with her on Friday...and I really wish I hadn't.

We hit it off REALLY well, she has a cute face and a great personality. We went for food where we sat and talked for 3 hours, and then we went for ice cream and talked for 2 more hours.

But I got catfished hard. Her body is completely disgusting. I've been with bigger girls before, and they didn't carry it too well either mind you, but this girl's body physically repulsed me. She was maybe 5'6" 220 which on paper is fine for me, but dear god she carried it like an amorphous blob. She had twiggy legs and looked like a mutated ice cream cone. She is active and is working on it (I don't know how seriously) but she's got a long way to go and I'm not going to bet on what I'm getting 6 months from now if I decide to stay.

And now I'm torn to shreds inside from having to make this decision. This girl is so genuinely nice, smart, and laid back, we have a very strong connection, and her face is really cute. She knows we have something. But now I have to be the shallow asshole and throw all of this away because I don't find her body attractive. Oh god how I'm eating my words from before. I would have been lucky to have "unspectacular".

We texted a little bit after the date and a little the next day. Completely silent since then. She can sense my distancing, and my friend tells me she thinks I'm just "pity dating" her.

I hate dating for this very reason. I cannot emotionally handle this kind of shit.

I was okay with being alone. I had truly accepted it and moved on. And then this wedged itself into my life with almost comedic timing.