LogFAQs > #914962967

-got into the university of my dreams 5 months before 2018 started, only to enroll there and then hate it
-it's a really prestigious school so a lot of the people are rich, attractive, very successful, extremely smart, and just generally great so I felt like a fucking loser coming from a poor, abusive family
-became a drug addict and gained like 150 lbs at the same time
-went into credit card debt despite trying very hard to avoid it beforehand but I said "fuck it" so I went into debt
-thought of suicide more days than not
-went into therapy because it was so bad (I guess this is a positive but I'd rather not need to go at all)
-because of the stuff above i had no friends this year, i sort of made friends but would always act shitty to them / do something to get them away from me. plus I didn't want people knowing all I did was eat and do drugs in my car 90% of the time
-got a complete shit GPA 2 out of 3 terms at aforementioned university
-lost a scholarship because of that. didn't even care at the time
and more that I'm probably forgetting!

I went from having a ton of potential to being a complete trainwreck of a person in a year's time. It's kind of funny. 2017 was the year of me feeling super confident and realizing my potential, thinking I would be the first in my family to become middle class. 2018 was the year of shit and feeling like a bigger loser than ever, and fucking up my life. I guess 2019 will be the year of fixing what I fucked up in 2018 (or attempting to fix it). This isn't a New Year's resolution or anything, it actually was just kind of a coincidence that I decided to quit drugs and stop eating 999999999 calories per day right before the year ended (I stopped drugs right before Christmas). I feel pretty driven and am making a serious attempt at this compared to my other half-assed attempts to stop, so I am sure I will succeed. I am anxious, but overall excited to see how my life plays out.