LogFAQs > #913695258

"I wouldn't count on the second one," you shrug. "The honey plan obviously didn't go well. And when I was washing all the honey off, I kept staring at this razor blade on my counter. I could have slashed my wrists right there in the shower and been done with it. But if it can't look like an accident, I don't want my wife to find me like that. It just... doesn't seem I can get it right."
The old man nods solemnly before smiling. "Well that's great!"
"Huh?" you raise an eyebrow.
"Don't you see?" he giggles. "You'll never get it right. There will always be some kink in the plan or some reason not to go through with it. And do you know why?"
"Amaze me," you lean your head onto your hand.
"Because you don't want to do it," he smiles. "If you wanted to, you wouldn't come up with a plan so ridiculous as covering yourself in honey and feeding yourself to bears. You still care about your wife enough to not let her discover your body. It'll never be right. Because you want to live."

You stagger your way back to your house and swing your front door open a little after midnight. You collapse onto the lumpy green sectional and lose consciousness almost instantly in front of Cinemax's original programming. In what seems like a matter of minutes, you are shaken awake and see Carrie standing over you with a suitcase at her side. "Hey," she smiles down at you.
"What time is it?" you ask groggily.
"It's about quarter to five, I'm about to head to the airport," Carrie replies. "Just wanted to say goodbye before I leave."
You nod. "Well thanks, I appreciate that."
"What are you gonna do on your day off?" she asks.
You silently nod at the television.
"I thought as much," she leans down to kiss you before heading for the door. "I'll be back in a couple of days. Love you."
"Love you too," you reply quietly as the door closes behind her.

You swing yourself into a sitting position and put your head in your hands. It'll never be right. You rise from the couch and head over to the sink. You grab the sponge by the faucet and squirt some dish soap onto it before getting the water going. You wash out the Joe's Crab Shack mason jar, dry it with the dish towel by the stove, and place it back into the glass cabinet. You reach into the back of the cabinet to grab your champagne flute, fill it, then slowly sip as you lean against the sink. Once empty, you gingerly place the flute onto the counter and head for the bathroom. You start the shower, then calmly push the bathroom door closed, using a single finger to click the latch shut.

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That's all for now. Next update will have a vote in it for sure (and will likely be a little less heavy), I just wanted to get through some backstory stuff. Thanks for your patience as always!
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.