LogFAQs > #913695091

"That's a sequel to the not real thing," Kees says annoyed. "I just need a big arrest, then I feel like I could move up to more serious challenges. My arrest records are all petty crimes and traffic violations."
"Want me to commit ssserious crime?" you offer. "I could... murder the mayor'sss son."
"That's a kind offer, Kevin, but I think you need to just get some rest."

Kees pulls the cruiser into your driveway. Before you get out, he puts his hand on your shoulder and asks again, "Are you sure you're alright?"
You nod silently.
"It's alright if you're not, Kevin. There are people who can talk to you. People who can help," he says.
"I don't... I'm fine," you reply as you attempt to scoop honey away from your eyes.
"There's no shame in it, man. Everyone needs help sometimes. Please, please tell me if you do. You got nothing to gain from hiding it."
You push your tongue into your lower lip and look at the floor. "I..."
At that moment, Kees' radio goes haywire with a series of numbers and an address. "An alarm went off. At a jewelry store!" he says giddily. "It's not that far from here."
"Oh.. nice?" you say as you step out of the cruiser, unsure of whether you're supposed to sound excited or not about crime.
"Well I... um..." Kees gently places the radio down before motioning to you. "You... you're-"
"I'm fine," you smile. "Go!"
Kees eagerly grabs the radio and announces into it, "Unit 129 responding!" He throws his lights on and speeds off into the night, your smile fading the farther away he gets.

You stumble up your front steps and through your front door. Glancing at the clock, you see it's 9:23 PM. You try to remain as quiet as a near blackout drunk covered in honey can. Carrie doesn't normally go to bed this early, but she's waking up at 4AM to go to a work conference tomorrow.

You wash the honey off your hands in the kitchen sink, before opening up the cabinet to your left to grab a glass for water. You spot your favorite one right in the front. You move it aside to look at the others. You spot Carrie's favorite glasses in the back, the champagne flutes from your wedding. That was the first thing you two drank out of as a married couple. You're not sure if you've drank anything out of them since that night. Carrie still takes them out of the cabinet every once in awhile to run them through the dishwasher and ask you if you remember them. You always play dumb, and she always laughs at your feigned ignorance. You look back to your favorite glass, a mason jar that you stole from Joe's Crab Shack. The champagne flutes should be your favorite, but the mason jar just holds the perfect amount of whatever you want it to. How did you know, Joe? But the wedding flutes are a symbol of you and Carrie's love, and she's done her part over the years to make sure they've remained sparkling.

But how'd they get the crab on the jar though? There's a full blown crab shape jettisoning out from the side of the mason jar. You're not gonna pretend to know anything about glass blowing, but Joe had to blow the shit out of this jar to get that mint condition crab shape on it.

Although, Carrie will likely hear the bad news while at her conference, and you honestly feel guilty about that. Maybe one way to squash some of the guilt would be to have her walk into the house and see your wedding flute by the sink. Some small droplets of water still at the bottom, the smudge your fingerprints on the bowl of it, and the mark of your lips by the rim. It might not be much, but perhaps she'd be comforted by the fact that the last thing you chose to drink from was the token of love she'd spent years maintaining. And at that moment she'd know it wasn't all for nothing, she'd be assured that you loved her. Even in your final moments.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.