LogFAQs > #907348532

Kazuma_Yagami posted...

First of all. TC if you are at a point where you have to have a last pitch in order to keep your relationship, then it is most likely not going to work. Lets ignore the fact that this was an open relationship for now (which only hurts your case). Especially if you told her youre going to give a last pitch, I 100% guarantee you she has made up her mind. You should have just been chill and when she came by thats when you could have simply showed her why being together would be good. But you screwed that up. Show, dont tell. I doubt this would have worked either, but it would have been a better attempt.

She probably told you about the dude so you can stop having ideas in your head about getting back together. It doesnt matter how serious she is with the guy.

And like others have said, you didnt give her a chance to miss you. Stop texting her. Let her think you are up to better things like bettering yourself (which you need to do and should be doing) and seeing other women. Even if you have been seeing other women you sound like a desperate cuck to her based on what you have posted. Youre almost at a stalker level.

Its natural to feel like you need to text her and check in with her and such, but it really isnt the best course of actions. I totally understand the feelings, but its just best not to act on them.

This relationship is toxic to you. Youve made way too many errors with your recent communications. There is literally no hope. The only where there is is if something drastic happens like you won the lottery and then she would want to work things out. Even then that would mean she is superficial and you shouldnt want that.

Im more concerned for your future. Whether you like it or not, shes going to be gone. Learn to accept that first. The next step is look at how you are acting right now. You are coming off very needy. Neediness is the biggest attraction killer. If you dont recognize that now, you are setting up yourself for more heartbreak later.

How do you feel about your neediness? That is the most important concern right now.

1) I didn't believe that it would really work in the first place.
2) Whether I should have been more distant is a valid point, but I'm not convinced it's the right one. You can easily make the counterargument that by giving her too much space when we're in a long distance relationship, she'll move on a lot more easily and forget about me. I myself had no intentions of pursuing her after this trip, so from my perspective there was simply too much time pressure to not contact her.

That may have been a strategic error, but I made my decision and I'm fine with it. You all constantly seem to gloss over the fact that she keeps occasionally texting me too, so much so that my buddies in real life express disbelief that she would do so so soon after a breakup.

3) You all also seem to gloss over how I keep repeating that I wasn't going to keep pursuing her long term. I'm not stalking this girl. We have had a distant and occasional correspondence over the last few weeks, where I've merely asked the question of how she's feeling. I'm not tearfully begging her to come back to me every week. She knows I'm seeing other women, and I know she's seeing other dudes too.