I absolutely agree. I think she did what she did out of some twisted concern that I wasn't moving on fast enough. But it's just so completely thoughtless and perhaps malevolent from my perspective.
But I guess I am more likely to move on faster now.
Okay woah did you ever even once, instead of thinking she was being malicious, she was doing LITERALLY THE EXACT OPPOSITE? She probably has confused feelings- she was with you a long time. She was probably pretty okay with the idea of spending a few nights with you, just pretending it was good times, pragmatically brought up the issue of sex, and thought this was all something she could do. Well, that can all be true while shes still living her life on the other side of the country or wherever and along comes some feelings for someone. To me it sounds like she is trying to be honest by letting you know shes seeing someone, not to be cruel, but in fact to be NICE and give you a heads up of this spiel is definitely not going to work because I am now less emotionally receptive. Just because YOU said you knew it wasnt likely to work, doesnt mean SHE knew you knew that. Shes giving you a heads up so you wont get so invested in this plan working that you hurt yourself all over again, but by going and taking it personally you did it anyways. Heres the fact of the matter- what she does with her life now will have very little, if even a single thing, to do with you. She is not living her life to spite you, she is not making decisions simply to annoy you, she is not going to be thinking of you close to at all. So dont take. Anything. Fucking. Personally. She didnt really owe you anything, and if you truly just wanted to have a good time with her as a last hurrah to the memories of you two then you could still do that but I highly recommend her getting a motel. Just because you are guaranteed to make this awkward and uncomfortable for her and she will probably lose sympathy and become more annoyed and potentially hostile due to youre overbearing sense that she did you wrong. I literally went through such a closely similar situation recently that I feel you could actually be my ex, hilariously enough.
1) I told her I had no expectations of her and that I was fully prepared to except that she might not have a change of heart. It isn't less hurtful for her to bring up another dude. It's more hurtful by far. I didn't want any guarantees from her at all. Just a chance to spend two nights with her and to give her my spiel. What's the big deal if I annoy her few a few hours, concede my defeat, and then progress on with her as friends or something like that?
2) If she is so emotionally unavailable, and wants nothing to do with me, then she should just grow the fuck up and get a motel then. I'll get the message. Don't tell me you still love me, you still want to fuck me, and then throw in my face that you're seeing someone, when all I asked for was two nights to spend with you because I'll never see you again regardless.
3) No she doesn't owe me anything. But a person who claims to care about your feelings, claims they don't want to hurt you, claims they really want you in their life as a friend and don't want to lose you, does not shit all of over your expectations and the low cost finality you want, which is just two nights of their time. I just really don't see what could possibly be benevolent about her actions. I was fully prepared to be somewhat hurt by the final rejection, but I've also been expecting it anyway. Throwing another guy into the mix at this point, when she claims it isn't even serious at all is unnecessarily hurtful.