LogFAQs > #907323382

[somebody] posted...

Once you're broken up. There is no obligation for anything man. All that past shit goes out the window at least for a while. You pushing to get back together so soon just pushes her away.

Getting back together has to be the dumper's choice. The dumpee can't just make a "pitch" that will make the dumper say "what a sweet pitch! I'll def have him back now."

When you break up, you have to step away from things. You texted her once a week. No space, no chance to miss you, nothing. She knows you're Just sitting there waiting while she's also seeing/getting some action with someone else.

You should have just chilled and let her come to you. It's okay, we do these things. You were together for FOUR years. Her feelings for you aren't just going to disappear.

If you want this girl back, you gotta let go for a while. Date some other girls and work on yourself. When she starts to miss you and things don't go right with this guy, she'll hit you up guarantee. You gotta reattract her again without being needy like you're being now

I completely agree with this advice. The difference is that I don't think it applies in a long distance relationship where you are a flight away. It's not like I can give her time to think over her emotions and then we can meet up at a moment's notice to patch things over, or that we'll run into each other at one of our old haunts and reconnect.

At this point our lives are only held together by sheer will. We were only seeing each other every 6-8 weeks or so for a year since she had to move back home. In my mind, if we don't put it back together fast, then there's no real hope. I just don't think it's possible to really rekindle a long distance relationship like that.

And so I explained that entire mindset to her. I told her I would not make any more advances after she comes to see me this final time and that I was perfectly open to becoming friends afterwards, because the logistics of it just don't make any sense when you're a 2 hour flight apart, which makes total travel time like 7 hours one way because of the cities we live in.

So for me, this was really it. And I just felt like she could have showed me a little bit of respect, given the difficulties of our situation.