Sucks that you're hurt, but as a single person she has no obligation to wait for you if she finds someone she likes. Nothing scummy about what she did.
I know she has no obligation to wait for me. All I asked was that she hear me out with no expectations whatsoever, and I was almost certain that she was hooking up/seeing other guys in some capacity. But we get to see each other so rarely because we're in the long distance relationship, so for me this final meeting would have been a good way to get some finality.
Because if she turned me down, then this would almost certainly be the last time I see her regardless. And so all she had to do was take the free dinner and drinks I was offering, and have sex with me (which is what she said she wanted). Then she could go on and live her life without me having any hard feelings against her, and we could be friends. Now the very last time I see her is going to be tense, awkward, and potentially hostile.
Dude, just let it go. You're trying to make her out to be the bad guy while still claiming she had no obligations and you had no expectations when you clearly did. She's not the bad guy. Being upset about the past won't help you get girls.
There's a huge difference in my mind between telling her I have no expectations of her accepting what I have to say during the last time I see her, and her throwing in my face that she's seeing someone now, not even two months after we broke up.
We've been together for FOUR YEARS. We talked about marriage, children, and our future together. The least she could have done is give me the final two nights that I will ever see her to give me a chance to make my case and get some final closure, and enjoy our time together. She is well aware that I am very much still in love with her, and I fought extremely hard to try to keep us together.
She even claimed that it's not serious at all with this new guy she's seeing. So why even mention it when this trip is right around the corner? If she isn't exclusive with this dude yet, and she explicitly disclaimed the notion that they are in a relationship or anything like that, what's the point in even bringing it up, except to cause me emotional distress ahead of her visit? Again, this is likely the very last time we will see each other.
dude, step back and listen to yourself. This is the mindset of a stalker. She gave you all the closer you could ever ask for, she chose another dude. Take the L and for the love of god dont go pleading to her that you needed closure and you wanted a chance ect ect, you will only push her farther and farther away ---