LogFAQs > #907019467

These are the 4 reasons i most hear for why guys pay on the first date and my counterpoints:

1. guys say they want to impress the girl, to show they have money but eventually they will start splitting the bill-if the only thing you have to rely on to impress a girl is a $20 meal, then you're not gonna impress her on this date and you'll lose a lot of money long term. also, it's better to set the relationship early, if you start paying and then suddenly stop, you're violating her expectations and she's more likely to be upset later on than she would be if you just said to split the bill on the first date. girls KNOW i make money once i tell them what i do. what's more important long term is to establish that she should be the one trying to impress me, not the other way around

2. "if you're the one asking them out, you pay"-um...but since guys are the one expected to ask girls out, that is extremely unfair, why should i have to take the initiative and pay the bill just because girls are socially conditioned to not make the initial move?

3. "it's just the way it's always been done, it's the gentlemanly thing to do"-it's 2018, it's the 21st century. now is the time to reevaluate traditions. just because something is the way its always been done does not mean that is the best way to do it. with all these feminists now, if they want equal rights i'll let them have it...but it starts with paying their own half of the bill. you can't only be for equality when it is convenient. i've made many an entitled feminist cry in a club/bar because she insisted on me buying her a drink and i called her out on this

4. "sometimes girls will offer to pay half, but it's only a test! you wouldn't get a second date if you let her pay half"-lol....if you're a super attractive guy she really likes, except you let her pay her half when she offered...she'll still go out with you again. she'll backwards rationalize it that she offered and youre not a mind reader, etc. she only does this for guys she doesn't like...and probably wouldn't sleep with. oh and if a girl doesn't sleep with me on the first date, she's much less likely to get a second date with me. one evening is enough for a girl to realize she should want to sleep with me

That said, i do pay sometimes. i am very good at reading the situation. Under these scenarios is when i do/do not pay:

- if i feel the date isn't leading to sex (due to lack of chemistry, etc), then i'll just let her pay her half. why should i pay for it all if it's not going anywhere?
-if the girl offers to pay half, i'll let her (even if i feel like it's leading to sex)
-if the girl doesn't offer and the date isn't leading anywhere, i'll just tell her or the waiter to split the check
-if the date is "on" and the girl doesn't offer to pay or reach for the check, i'll give it a few minutes to see if she does (obviously still keep talking like normal). if i feel it's very likely to go down (ie she's already established she's willing to hang out with no curfew, nothing to do the next day or best case scenario already agreed to go home with me right after) then i'll just pay.

NOTE: i can afford to pay for all my first dates, i mostly do this to set the right tone (where i would not betaken advantage of if the relationship were to continue) and to test the girl's amount of entitlement (this can tell me a lot about her)

If you actually want to discuss these, that's cool, but please actually provide good reasoning
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