LogFAQs > #906632739

#58 - Mustachioed Men Created by: Raetsel Lapin

Commissioner Gordon
Green Arrow
Dum Dum Dugan
Red Hulk (Robert Maverick)

I want to like this team. I really do. I really, desperately want this to work. We live in an age of Mustache Mountain. Apparently, facial follicles fulfill the prerequisites for fandom. Yet, here I stand in somewhat of opposition to this group because I think it falls apart on execution thanks to the small size of the roster and one singular choice.

There isn't really a good team leader here, and the chemistry between four members, all of whom have roughly the same amount of credit for a leadership role, means this group is just going to involve several curmudgeonly 'stache-sporters arguing over who should be in charge. Furthermore, Jim Gordon isn't really in the game of under-the-mask heroics (at least when he had a mustache), so the bigger issue is revealing identities to a non-combatant. Also, three nonpowered individuals being forced to take a backseat to one guy with relatively uninspired powers means that (I think) readers will look on the non-Hulks a veritable Team Flash. And no one really wants that in comics. Support teams are generally met with disinterest.

So let me try to make this concept more interesting.

Membership Drive: First and foremost, I'm cutting off Jim Gordon and Dum Dum Dugan. This is a superhero team. Not a convention for facial hair. Let's get some real superheroes onto this team, shall we? With Arrow and a Hulk already established, we need to find a tech guy for this group, and Iron Man is a perfect choice. You also need someone with some versatility in the group, a more utility player. I'd recommend Sinestro in this instance since he can easily flip over to the light side for a little while if necessary. We've done it before, after all. I'd round out the group with Dr. Strange fulfilling the mystical role in the team. Now we've got a Justice League-quality group with as much variety as you can get from a bunch of mustached men. For a comedic purpose, I would add in someone like Beast Boy, a character who keeps trying to skate by on like a pitch-fuzz level 'stache. He can try a variety of tactics and disguises to bamboozle the various members of the team, only to be caught each time sporting a fake mustache.

And the obviously villain here is Grant Morrison's Beard Hunter.
---

"Reading would be your friend." ~Dave Meltzer