LogFAQs > #906427320

#72 - "Big Guys Breaking Stuff" Created by: Johnbobb

A team of big strong guys who primarily break things

Hulk
The Thing
Hercules
Blob
Colossus
Juggernaut

Pirate Harris isn't far removed from this team of large individuals who brutishly hit things and have very little introspective personality. What separates this group from the previous one is the lack of a member so heinously ill-equipped to be a team member so as to render the team completely null right out of the gate.

But that doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things. This team is an example of not understanding team dynamics on a fundamental level.

Let's take a look at this team past page one. Because the last team couldn't even make it through the first page. This team is going to make it through an issue and say, "Hey, we may not all work on the same side of the law, but there comes a time when this sort of brute strength on a massive scale is necessary." So they decide to go out and buy a headquarters. They get it all set up (by someone else because all of these guys suck at any detail-oriented project), and then on the distress signal comes in the first case. And I'm going to make it super-simple: it's Hawkman.

And here's where it gets fun, because this group of massively overpowered dumb-dumbs can't even deal with a dude with wings. Ground-bound (and don't give me the "Hulk can jump argument"; Hulk is not able to anticipate rapid movements, and no one else in this group can either) and brainless to the umpteenth degree, they'll start arguing with each other immediately since they are all alpha jocks with the caveman-mark-my-territory attitude. They immediately fall prey to in-fighting thanks to failure. Hercules is a great character with a team of less egocentric individuals. Juggernaut could even function in that sort of group. Putting them together with Hulk is an accident waiting to happen, and the remaining members are either toothless quiet men who just get swept up in the fight (Colossus) or lazy and likely to take advantage of the hostility to break a law (Blob). So because no one can touch Hawkman, they all blame each other and give up. Because that's the personality type. If the brain overheats, it's all over.

"But that's what I want!" you say. "I want a funny team that falls apart!" you claim. Well, kiddo, you'll find some much funnier teams falling apart that are way more viable as concepts on this list. I'm not adverse to humor. I'm adverse to stupidity. And this is a team where itsdialogue does the universe a disservice by even existing.

Oh yeah, and if you provided a name for you team, it better not suck. This one is terrifyingly bad. Names should provide some quality of either brevity or stature. This makes the group look like a joke right out of the gate, and not even a good joke. It's an Epic Movie joke, not a Shaun of the Dead joke.

Membership Drive:
First and foremost, I'm cutting Hulk. He provides no value on this group at all. If you wanted Hulk as a dedicated scientist, then you should pick someone who is truly a dedicated scientist and not prone to transformation at the most inconvenient of moments. This group features a significant amount of mutant fun, so I would drop the Thing for Strong Guy in keeping a little more thematic. Hulk would see a replacement in M, a female mutant with super-strength and also a rational mind. I could see her finding a breakout role as team leader here, taking down the rowdier members with some adroit displays of how strength can be used tactically. I'm happy to keep Hercules as the oddball of the group, but honestly, he would probably leave the group early on and be replaced by a C-List mutant to whom you want to give credence.
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"Reading would be your friend." ~Dave Meltzer